Inevitable Evening
by KieshaIshtar
Summary: JxBxE. The beginning of Twilight, reconstructed. Bella likes Edward and he really helps her out when a difficult family issue erupts. But has Jacob won her heart?
1. Snippet

**Alright! All you need to know about this snippet is it is NOT the first chapter. It'll probably end up being part of the 5****th****, maybe 6****th****? I haven't worked it out really. I just want to show you what's in my head. **

Teaser for Inevitable Evening

Bella's POV

"My name is Esme, I'm Carlisle's wife," the woman wrapping a blanket around me said. I smiled a little and nodded to her.

"Thank you, so much. For this, and for having me. I hope my staying here won't be too much of an inconvenience," I said. A soft smile tilted her lips as she ran her hand over the back of my head. She shook her head.

"No, never..." she said, looking at me with the softest, most heart warming eyes I'd ever seen. As she backed away, Carlisle placed his hand on my back and urged me forward gently.

"And you know my children. That's Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. And of course, Edward," Carlisle said, going from right to left. Alice smiled at me, warmly. I felt warm just looking at her. Jasper gave a short nod, indicating he knew I existed. Rosalie crossed her arms and glared, looking irritated at me, like always. I really wondered what her problem with me was. Emmett gave a small wave, hiding a smile in his eyes.

Then my eyes fell on Edward. Beautiful, dazzling, breath taking Edward. I was almost breathless. His eyes were so dark, so intense. It looked as if he too was grieving. I turned my eyes away, feeling guilty for imposing on them all. As the silence went on, I lowered my gaze to the ground, working the blanket's fabric between my fingers. Then I turned to Carlisle.

"Please, Dr. Cullen-"

"Carlisle. Please, call me Carlisle," he said. I swallowed at his warm gaze, trying to get the courage to say what I knew was right.

"Carlisle... I really do feel lie a burden here. I could call a friend and see if I can stay with them-"

"No," a sharp word came from behind me. I turned and looked at Edward, along with everyone else in the room. He got to his feet, increasing his frightening demeanor ten fold. His eyes bore straight into mine. I felt like he was boring into my soul. I took in a sharp breath.

"You can stay here. As you can see, we have more than enough room. This is no inconvenience after what's fallen in your home," he said. His eyes broke on his last word and so did my chest. I turned my eyes to the ceiling, then closed them, finding it easier to cope. I didn't want to think about Charlie right now.

**A/N : Oh dear! What's going on? I want to hear your guys' thoughts! Leave reviews, telling me whether you're curious about this story or not, that way I know whether or not to pursue it. I'm actually really excited about it. I hope you all will be too. **

**Just to confirm, this WILL be a JxBxE story. So for all my Edward haters, this might not be for you until later chapters. There will be ExB lemons. And who knows, you may even warm up to Edward. I promise you though. You'll love it. If you've read my last story, you know how Jacob obsessed I am. **

**So! Get to work! Toss around ideas amongst yourselves! Love Jacob forever!**


	2. Get ready!

Mark your calendars, everyone! Inevitable Evening will begin July 1st, 2010. I'll post the first chapter by 9 PM California time, that night. I hope you guys will all enjoy this little wait. I'm still working out the kinks of the story, but it should be a great one!


	3. Chapter 1

**Just as with my last fan fiction, the first few paragraphs or whatnot are Miss SM's. Please don't give me credit for her words, only my own! Remember, if I owned The Twilight Saga, Jacob Black would be nestled in my bed.**

**With no further ado...**

**Chapter 1 – Two Men**

He had just saved my life... He had come out of the alley like a bat out of hell in his stupid shiny volvo and swooped me away from rape and possibly death. Had I made him feel any better with my comments about Tyler Crowly and his imminent death?

"Better?" I asked, biting on my lip as I looked over at him. He kept his eyes on the road.

"Not really."

I waited, but he didn't speak again. Then he leaned his head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car. His face was rigid. So many questions ran through my head... How did he know where I was? Why had those guys not beaten him to a pulp? How had we escaped? Why was he so angry looking?

"What's wrong?" My voice came out in a whisper.

"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella." He was whispering, too, and as he stared out the window, his eyes narrowed into slits. "But it _wouldn't _be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…" He didn't finish his sentence, looking away, struggling for a moment to control his anger again.

"At least," he continued, "that's what I'm trying to convince myself."

"Oh," I whispered. The word seemed inadequate, but I couldn't think of a better response.

We sat in silence again. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was past six-thirty.

I glanced over at him and saw his eyes were getting more and more gloomy. His body language was radiating big, bad predator and I sure wasn't going to egg it on. I glanced out the window once more.

But there was so much I needed to know... There was something... Something just _wrong _about him. Something not quite real... I turned and opened my mouth to ask him how the hell he knew where to get me –

"Jessica and Angela will be worried that I didn't meet them," came out instead. I bit on my lip as he glared at the street.

"Don't they have cell phones or something? Call them," he said. Ouch, his words had a bite to them... Did he regret saving me again? Why the hell was he doing it?

"Right..." I whispered, reaching to dig my cell phone out of my pants pocket. I didn't miss the fact that his eyes darted over as my hips raised up off the seat. But his eyes were straight back on the road again. His mouth was curved in a way that made me feel like he was offended.

"Hey Jess, it's Bella-"

"What the hell is wrong with you? We've been worried out of our minds, you could be dead!" her erratic voice screamed like nails on a chalk board.

"Edward and I ran into each other. He'll take me home. I'll talk to you guys later, ok?" I asked. There was a dead silence, then whispers. I rolled my eyes as Jessica conveyed all the information to Angela.

"So, uh, Edward, huh? Had you guys already arranged to meet here-"

"I have to go, Jess. I'll talk to you in trig tomorrow," I said, fiddling with my seatbelt as I glanced over at him. He didn't appear to know what was going on.

"You bet your ass we'll be talking in trig. Say hello to him for me, will you?" she said, in a lover's sing song voice. I made a disgusted noise and hung up the phone. It was just like Jessica. She hadn't been worried about me, but worried that she'd have to spend the rest of the night in some sleezy jail, answering questions about my disappearance. Then again, she would have gotten all the attention at school tomorrow and she would have milked that for all it was worth.

"They're taken care of," I said, looking over at him.

"Great," he said. His voice was gruff and harsh. Had we gone back to the old Edward? The one who wanted nothing to do with me, ignored me and said we weren't supposed to be around each other? Where the hell was that written, anyways? I'd love to see this manual he kept checking into to see if relationships were allowed. I wonder what it would say under Bella Swan and Mike Newton.

I growled a little at that and pulled my legs up onto the seat, bringing them to my chest. I watched the buildings start to become further apart before I realized we were heading out of town.

"Where are we going?" I asked, not bothering to look at him. I knew what I would see and I just didn't want to face that anymore.

"I'm taking you home," he said.

"Why?" I asked. I felt his head whip towards me and I couldn't help but glance at him. "You could have just dropped me over with Jess and Ang," I finished, keeping his gaze. He didn't look away. My heart started racing. We were going to die because he wasn't watching the road. He eyes looked ambivalent. Then he broke my gaze.

"Would you rather go back to that alley?" he asked, sneering at the road. I actually flinched at his words. If he regretted saving me so much, why the hell did he do it a second time? I just didn't understand this man. No, this boy. He wasn't even a man yet. I grumbled beneath my breath and leaned further away from him, Jacob and I's conversation from only three days ago floating to my mind.

I took in a breath and glanced over at him, watching his cold hard features. I supressed my theory. Even with the dream I'd had about Edward being a vampire, it was impossible. Those kinds of things didn't exist in this world. _Plus, _I thought, grinning to myself, _I've seen him during the day._

Edward's POV

God, damn it, what was wrong with me?

_Get a grip, Edward. It's either this or she ends up like lunch. We can't have that, _I thought to myself. I glanced over at her, curled up against my door and taking up as little space as possible. My heart ached to watch her like that when all I really wanted was to have her curled up beneath my arm...

I gripped the steering wheel tighter, taking in a deep breath and letting it out silently. She smelled so ridiculously delicious. I just wanted to take her home to my place and throw her onto my bed.

_STOP thinking like that!_ I yelled inwardly. I mentally smacked myself to clear my mind and straightened up in my seat. But my thoughts just started to drift again...

I had been so afraid when I'd heard those men's thoughts. I hadn't been able to drive fast enough. What if I was too late and they violated my Bella. I closed my eyes briefly, willing my thoughts away from that direction. I was still able to flip a u-ey and go back to find the scum bags. I couldn't do that with Bella here.

I pressed down harder on the gas, needing to get her home as soon as possible.

"You're going really fast," she whispered. I glanced over at her, a glare prepared. But I couldn't help softening in that moment. She was looking at me, half horrified, half afraid. God, how I wish she wasn't afraid of me...

But it was for the best.

I let my foot off the gas a little and watched her visibly relax as she turned back away from me. The rest of the ride home was in silence. I was anxious. What if she asked me how I'd found her tonight? I didn't have an answer prepared. I had acted off pure reflexes tonight to save her. I didn't understand how she got into so many catastrophes in one week.

There was no explanation for me being able to find her unless I was stalking her. And there was no excuse for me having saved her again and then acting this cold to her. I just needed to get through this car ride without her asking any questions and I would be home free. I would go home and deal with the consequences my family already had laid out for me.

Alice would have told them what I'd done. Rosalie would be in a hissy fit. Esme would be jumping up and down, thinking I'd finally fallen in love. I wrinkled my nose at the thought. Esme didn't grasp the thought that there couldn't be love between one of us and a human.

Before long, I was rolling up in front of her house. She glanced up and realized where we were, sitting up straight. She unbuckeled her seatbelt and then turned to me. Here it comes... The questions.

"Well... Thank you," she said. In that moment, I wanted to reach out and drag her back to me. No, I couldn't let her leave. I needed her. I needed to hold her and kiss her. I needed this human more than I needed her blood. I needed her affection.

Another moment passed and she gave a small face that read, 'annnd you've gone mute.' She bobbed her head and then ducked out of the car.

"You're welcome," I said, as she slammed the door shut behind her. Before I could see her expression as she turned around, I punched the gas and sped off down the street.

What was wrong with me? Why did I have to keep playing this game with us? I needed to just cut the ties between her and I. This wasn't healthy, this baiting and then throwing her back into the ocean. It was definitely having its toll on her, but it was wrecking me.

There were brief moments when I smiled at her that she would smile back and I'd see a future for us. But there could be no future. I refused to take her life. I refused to have her become one of us.

And there could be no love between a vampire and a human.

Bella's POV

I turned around as the door shut behind me, my eyes wide. He had just replied back to me. And his voice hadn't been angry or sarcastic. He had genuinely said you're welcome. A shiver ran down my spine as I watched his car speed off.

And then confusion set back in. What _was_ it with Edward Cullen? What was his deal? I sighed as his car disappeared around a bend and then turned to my house. In that moment, I decided it didn't matter what the hell he was because we would never get close enough for me to care.

The lights were on in the living room and I smiled as I heard the game on.

"Ohhhhh!" a room full of men cried as I walked into the door. I glanced to the tv and saw someone dancing around on the side of the field. Touchdown. I grinned as I shut the door behind me, announcing my presence. Five pair of eyes snapped to me.

"Bells! Glad you're home! Charlie burned popcorn earlier," Billy said. I breathed in and smelled the remnants of it. I also realized it was frigid in the house. I laughed as I realized all the windows were open to air out the smell. I found my dad amidst the men and saw him looking away, embarrassed.

"You weren't supposed to be home for at least another hour. The smell would have been gone and the house would have been warm," he said. I smiled at him and went around, shutting the windows.

"Here, let me help," someone said behind me as I was reaching up to pull a window closed. It wouldn't budge. Two arms stretched out above mine and brought the window down, his arms coming down around my waist.

I breathed in and turned around, finding none other than Jacob Black. I laughed a little, feeling slightly awkward with him so close. It was a good awkward though. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist.

It was then I realized ; since our walk on La Push, something had sparked between me and this younger boy. Apparently, hitting on a guy to get information had its consquences. We pulled away after a moment and continued closing the two other windows. I grabbed the bag of burnt popcorn off the table and groaned.

"Don't tell me you guys actually ate it!" I cried, hopelessly. I took the bag out the back door and straight to the outside trash can. I shut the can and then turned around to head back inside. I found Jacob there. I grinned at him.

"How did you let them eat burnt popcorn?" I asked, walking up the back steps towards him. He held up his hands.

"It wasn't my fault. I guess that was the last bag of corn and they were anxious," he said. He blocked my way into the house as I reached the top step.

"I'll just have to find something else to make then," I said, grinning up at him. My heart fluttered as he stepped towards me. Wow. Was this how he had felt when I came onto him at the beach? I bit on my lip as I looked up into his eyes.

Then he pulled away and stepped backwards into the house. My breath let out of me in a big whoosh and I smiled at him. What a tease...

I shut the door behind me and went to the cabinet, searching for something to make for the game. A glance at the clock told me it still had an hour or two. Getting down on my hands and knees, I found two more bags of popcorn that had been shoved in the back as new groceries had come in.

"Ah ha!" I said, crawling backwards out of the cabinet. I backed into a pair of legs and my body tingled and told me they were Jake's. I bit on my lip as I pulled my head out and started getting to my feet. He reached for my hand and helped me up.

"So when did you guys get here?" I asked, not turning to face him. I felt a blush already working its way over my skin.

"Around five. I'd thought you would be here, but Charlie told me you'd gone out and that you probably would't be back til after the game," he said. I turned to see him grinning at me, eyeing me. "Imagine my surprise when you came walking in the door."

I unwrapped the bags of popcorn and put one in. As it started cooking, I turned to face him.

"Yeah, the girls called it an early night," I said, watching him. Alright, I confirmed. I was an idiot. I had come on to Jacob in a weak attempt to get information out of him and now he was coming back onto me. And I liked it. What the hell was wrong with me? He was fifteen. I bit on my lip.

He definitely didn't look fifteen. The shirt he was wearing was tighter than what I'd seen him in last. It bared his arms, nice, muscular arms. The shirt clung to his stomach. I couldn't tell if it was flat or if there were some kind of muscles under there, but judging by his arms, I guessed his stomach looked nice as well.

I was biting on my lip as he walked over to me. He was also taller than any fifteen year old I knew. He hovered a few inches above me.

"So, how was your trip to Port Angeles?" he asked, standing about a foot away from me, cornering me against the kitchen counter. I smiled, feeling my heart flutter a bit.

"It was ok. Wish I'd stayed here," I said, unaware of the words as they spilled out of my mouth. He was taking away my internal filter. Oh dear. I broke contact from his eyes, feeling like he would swallow me whole. I didn't do it fast enough though. I caught his grin as he looked away.

"I mean, it wasn't that much fun and I wish I'd saved that bag of popcorn," I covered. He laughed and I stopped breathing. Had he always laughed like that? So deep, so rich and intoxicating? This was going down hill fast. The only chances I had of survival with dignity was to cook the pop corn and then run upstairs to my room.

"You seem nervous, Bella. What's up?" he asked behind me as I turned to face the popcorn timer. _Come on, two more minutes til the next bag..._ I thought.

"I dunno, I guess I just get the shakes sometimes," I said. His arm came around me and his fingers brushed my arm. I took in a deep breath and looked at him over my shoulder. Definitely, definitely not the confidence of a fifteen year old...

"Is it me? Do you feel nervous around me?" he asked against my ear. "Do you feel as nervous as I felt around you when we were at the beach?"

"SCORRREEEE!" two of the guys cried out in the living room, making me jump. Jacob pulled away.

"Bells, can we get some more beers in here?" my dad called and I thanked him endlessly. Anything to get me away from this boy that felt like pure seduction. I went to the fridge, grabbed as many beers as I could carry and carted them to the living room. The microwave went off and I grabbed the bag of popcorn, put the next one in and put the fresh bag out on the table.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Jacob had disappeared. Part of me felt relieved. Most of me was disappointed.

I stamped down on that as hard as I could.

**A/N : Ooooo! So what do you guys think? I'd love to hear your opinions on my writing and what kind of vibes you get from the story. Are you curious as to see what happens? I AM!**


	4. Chapter 2

**So needless to say, I love you guys. Lol. Enjoy this chapter. I'm ready to get you all hooked.**

**Chapter 2 – Your Call, Jacob Black**

Jake's POV

I wheeled my dad out of the house. The game had ended about 15 minutes ago. Bella had come out to talk to me on the porch, to say goodbye. I blinked back the thoughts as I helped my dad into the car and then drove us off to La Push.

I'd been interested in Bella ever since my dad had been told by Charlie that Bella was coming to live here. Bella, who I'd heard so much of from my sisters and my dad. Bella, I'd seen her picture often. She was nothing short of beautiful. Even more so in person.

And when we had walked on the beach, just a short while ago, she had come onto me. She had kicked my hormones into overdrive. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. So, obviously, when my dad told me earlier today that they would be getting together at Charlie's to watch the game, I had tagged along.

My disappoint about Bella not being there went unnoticed by the older men when we arrived. I had sulked around the house and been annoyed when they had burnt the popcorn. I had caught myself. It wasn't their fault they were old and forgetful. I had been getting more and more temperamental lately. My dad blamed it on puberty. But I saw the way he looked at me.

He knew something was coming. He knew as well as I did. There was something inside of me, something growing. It was eager to represent itself and all too ready to force me out of the way. Was this insanity?

I rounded a curve in the road and let out a deep breath. All I knew was that Bella was definitely tugging on a leash she really didn't want to get involved with. But I didn't have the control to stay away from her now. Yes, I had promised her on the porch tonight that we would calm down. But I would dream of the day when Bella and I could be together.

This was not my first female interest. There were girls on the rez. Gorgeous girls. Most of them down to earth and friendly. Most were also attracted to me. But what I felt for Bella... It was like a pull. My body didn't want to resist. I bit on my lip, rounding another curve.

_Damn it, this isn't healthy!_ I yelled at myself, gripping the steering wheel. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and shifted in my seat. No matter what though, I would not scare Bella off. So I would give her space.

"You should talk to Sam," my dad's voice reverberated through the car. I gritted my teeth, thinking about the older man.

"I don't know why you insist I talk to him. We've never been friendly before and I don't know what would make you think I'd go running to him when I hit puberty," I retorted. I glanced over at him. He was looking out the window. I turned my eyes back to the road.

"You'll go when you're ready," he said. Cooky old man. I loved my father. But sometime, I thought the men on the rez were really insane. I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, dad," I said. The conversation died there. My thoughts flew back to Bella and I stifled down another flood of hormones. I just needed to wait this out. It would go away.

_Please... Go away faster._

Bella's POV

I sat in biology, kicking my foot against the stool and trying to stay focused on Mr. Banner. It was difficult. Before, I just had to worry about my reactions to Edward sitting beside me. Now I had to worry about what kind of mood he would be in. Would he pretend he wanted to be friends today, or be a rock that I could never talk to? Then there was all my thoughts about Jacob. He had plagued my dreams last night, the runt.

I let out a little sigh as I recalled the previous night. I had done as I'd planned. Cooked pop corn, ran and hid upstairs. I sat and fiddled with my thumbs, put music on, went through homework. But I hadn't been able to concentrate.

When I heard the game come to an end, I flew down the stairs. I couldn't let Jacob leave without saying goodbye. I didn't think I'd survive the night. I found him, waiting for his dad at the front door. He smiled at me and I walked over to him. We stepped outside as the men all said their goodbyes.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he said. My eyes jolted up to look at him. He really did feel sorry. I couldn't help a small smirk as I stepped towards him.

"Let's just take it easy, shall we? I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened," I said. And I was. One moment, Jacob had been some fifteen year old son of my dad's best friend. Now, he was some super sexy, russet colored, warm, living, breathing human being that was driving something wild through me. I needed time.

He seemed to understand and grinned at me.

"I'll grow some more and then we'll talk," he said. I laughed and he moved forward and we hugged. He tightened his hold on me and I rested my head on his shoulder, embracing his bear hug. When he let me go, I took a deep breath and stepped away. A sliver of his hair had fallen free from his pony tail and I tugged on it gently.

"Talk to you soon," I said.

"Definitely," he replied, showing his teeth. I bit on my lip as a shiver ran through me. Ok, leave. Before you jump the poor boy. Thankfully, my feet complied.

I turned and went back inside and passed Billy on his way out.

I blinked as Mr. Banner walked in my direction. He was still lecturing. Good, so I hadn't missed anything. I breathed out. Maybe it wasn't such a good thing to think about Jacob during this class. Let's not go into the dream I'd had about him.

I glanced over to see Edward brooding in his corner. He had come into the classroom like that and I had chosen to ignore it. If he didn't want to befriend me, I didn't need it. I was getting irritated with his game. Too much whiplash would break your neck.

The bell couldn't signify the end of class fast enough. I got up off my seat and replaced Edward as the first one out of class. Gym. Dreaded gym. Oye.

Thankfully, Mike blocked most of the hits from the soccer ball that always seemed aimed at my face. I couldn't thank him enough after class. He walked me out to my truck.

"So, I'll catch you later," he said, walking away. I waved goodbye and opened the door to my truck. I stepped up but I guess the bottom of my shoe had been too slippery. My foot slipped clear off the up-step and I plummeted to the ground.

That is, before a pair of hands shot out and grabbed my arm, yanking me upright.

"Can you not handle one day without an injury?" an annoyed voice asked. I turned around to face Edward, preparing a smart remark but lost it. His face was gorgeous as ever. Bedazzling. I breathed in and ripped my eyes away from his face.

"Sorry to make you regret being here. Again," I said. I turned away and carefully stepped up into my truck.

"How many times do I have to tell you I don't regret saving you," he said, stepping close to me so I couldn't close the door. I let out a frustrated sigh.

"What other explanation is there for your brooding status and cruel actions?" I asked, glaring at him. Even sitting in my truck, he was still eye level with me. And close. Too close. I breathed in, feeling closed in on. My skin tingled and I moved closer to him.

There was something in his eyes... Something I wanted to know. He tore his gaze away from mine and stepped back.

"I don't regret saving you. Just don't use it as an excuse to keep me around," he said. Before I could speak, he closed my door for me and turned to walk away. I let out a frustrated yell and slammed my keys into the ignition.

The drive home, the drive to release... My truck wouldn't carry me home as fast as I'd like. I tapped my foot a little, making the big red lug tremble. I grabbed my bag as I parked the truck outside my house and ran up the driveway.

I shoved the door open and dropped my bag in the living room. I sighed and fell to the couch with it, sprawling my limbs out so all of them were as far away as they could get. I threw my arm over my face and tried breathing in and out, slowly.

Something about Edward Cullen fascinated me. Maybe it was the fact that he'd saved my life twice and saved me from trips and stumbles several other times. Maybe it was his eyes, their ever changing colors. Maybe his voice. I shivered, thinking of his coy way of speaking. His word choice, so odd and ancient.

I pulled my arm away and blinked up at the ceiling. The only things I didn't like about him were his inability to make up his mind about befriending me and that there was something about him that I felt I'd never figure out. I don't like secrets.

I sat up on the couch and looked around. I wasn't eager to get to my homework. I didn't have to start dinner for at least another hour. My room was spotless, laundry taken care of and the kitchen cleaned. I heaved out a sigh. I really needed a hobby. Or a real friend.

My thoughts drifted back to Mike, Angela, Ben and Jess. Mike only wanted ass. That had been apparent ever since the first time I'd seen him look me up and down. Jess was snotty. Gossipy. I didn't need a friend like that. I was too much of a klutz and I wasn't interested in my secrets being spilled all around town. Angela was nice enough, but I didn't want to bother her. And Ben always seemed preoccupied with Angela.

If there was anything going on there, I definitely didn't want to endanger it by asking him to hang out.

My eyes fell on the phone. I reached over to it and bit on my lip as I looked at it. I tapped my fingers a few times and then smiled. Well, Charlie had put the emergency numbers by the phone for a reason. This was an emergency. I grabbed the slip of paper and trailed my finger down to the third one on the list, the first and second being 911 and my mother.

I got to my feet and started pacing as the phone rang. I stopped as I watched myself. I was acting like a crazed middle aged woman, calling some hotline number for a good time. I plopped down on the couch at the third ring. My heart thudded in my chest as the ring was cut short.

"Black residence," a voice said. I shiver slipped down my spine. _Behave, Bella. You both agreed to take it easy. You shouldn't even be calling him! Hang up! Hang up the phone now!_

"Jacob?" I asked, throwing my voice out before my hand could react to my thoughts. I was lonely. I needed someone to talk to. Jacob was the perfect person. Nothing could happen here. We were safe.

"Bella? Is something wrong?" he asked, his voice getting deeper, quieter. I swallowed and got to my feet quickly. My heart was racing.

"No, no, nothing's wrong. I just..." I looked around, wanting to stomp my foot. Damn it, I shouldn't have called. "I just wanted to talk to you," I said, closing my eyes in defeat. There was a short pause and then his coy little laugh. I knew he was smirking. Damn him.

"What happened to letting me grow?" he asked, the sarcasm in his voice rich and intoxicating. I straightened immediately, gaining my head back.

"We are! I mean – nothing's changed. I just... Can't we just talk?" I asked. I glanced from the kitchen to the stairs that led up to my room. I bit on my lip and dropped the paper with the emergency numbers on it to the table. Too much silence, Jacob Black.

Then his smirky little voice.

"Yeah, of course we can talk," he said. I let out a little silent breath and closed my eyes, plopping onto the couch. This should be easy. This should be simple. He was 15. I was 17. This was nearly illegal. It should be simple for us to just be friends and talk. Chit chat.

I smiled at the thought.

"How was your day at school? Did they smack your hand with a ruler?" I asked. He chuckled.

"We're not that old school. My day was fine. How about yours?" he asked. I could hear him walking. Where was he going? Was Billy around? I leaned back into the couch, thinking about my day.

"It went ok. As good as school can go, I guess," I said.

And suddenly, it was as easy as pie.

He joked, I laughed. He commented, I replied. I stumbled and he picked up my sentence off the ground. It was as if we'd known each other for ages, but we're just starting to get to know each other all over again. Where I was a klutz, Jacob sailed the seven seas with ease. I felt my heart getting lighter, my loneliness edging away.

As the hour went on, I rotated on the couch. Now I was laying with my feet on the head of the couch and my head hanging over the edge, my hair brushing the floor. I felt like a ridiculous teenager. Jacob made me feel giddy inside.

"When does Charlie get home?" he asked. I glanced to the cable box and read the time upside down.

"He should be getting here any minute. I should get going, less he catch me on the phone with you," I said, grinning. He laughed.

"Bella, my dad's had his ear against my door for the last hour. I'm pretty sure Charlie will find out," he said. I flipped my legs over my head and crumpled to the floor. Wow. That had gone pretty painlessly. Was I catching on to some of Jacob's class? I laughed at that thought.

"Well, for shame, Jacob Black. Don't you know how to sneak?" I asked, walking towards the kitchen.

"Oh baby, you should see me sneak," he said, his voice low. His voice might have gone into my ear, but his tone slipped straight to my stomach, making butterflies wiggle free and flutter their wings. I gasped out a little and leaned against the wall. He had caught me off guard. We had been so light hearted, so calm. I had been walking, for Christ's sake.

"Behave-" I started, but the front door suddenly opened. Damn! How had I not heard Charlie pull up! Had Jacob's voice intoxicated me, drowned my ear drums?

"Dad!" I said, smiling and pulling the phone away, placing it to my shoulder.

"Hey, who's that?" he asked. I brought the phone back to my ear and turned away from my dad to keep my smile off my face.

"I have to go, Jake. Got to start dinner," I said.

"Talk to you soon, Bells," he said, his voice as light and sweet as it had been through most of our conversation. Had I imagined him saying that one comment? I pulled the phone away and clicked it off, setting it back on the charger. No. I couldn't have imagined his voice that rich...

"Jacob? Did he need something?" my dad asked, hanging up his jacket on the hook by the door. He put his hand on my shoulder as he walked past me to the kitchen.

"No, I called him," I admitted, knowing he and Billy talked way too much for me to lie. I followed him into the kitchen to start dinner. His eyes were on me.

"Was there something wrong?" he asked. I shook my head, making my voice light and carefree.

"No, I just thought he was really nice last night, helping me with the pop corn and stuff. Keeping you guys from burning down the house," I said, giving him a pointed stare. He pretended to be curious about a mark on the wall.

"Oh? Yeah, he's a nice boy," he said. I smiled as I turned my attention back to dinner.

"It'll be ready in a half hour. Go relax in front of the tv, dad," I said, glancing over my shoulder. He gave a little nod. I loved my father. He didn't pry like my mother. Not that I minded my mother's questions. She was just easier to talk to than a man I hadn't known very much for the past... however long it'd been since the last time I was here. I smiled at the thought.

He disappeared into the living room and I busied myself with dinner. There would be another time to think about Jacob Black and his seductive tone. There would be another day to ponder whether I was getting in over my head. There would be another year to contemplate what the hell I was going to do next time I talked to him.

**A/N : How do you guys like their relationship? Too much, not enough? As you know, I like keeping the characters pretty true to themselves, so keep that in mind! **


	5. Chapter 3

**Get ready to love and hate me by the end of this chapter!**

Chapter 3 –

So followed the next month or so in this pattern.

I loved coming home and talking to Jake on the phone. Most of the time, it kept my hormones at bay. Just face it, there's no way to be in the same room with that boy without my body temperature raising a degree or two.

Edward, on the other hand. He had been keeping his distance. Sure, he would save me from nasty slips and falls, but whenever I turned to talk to him, he looked either disgusted or afraid. He was always steaming around me, always seemed angry, or frustrated. What was it about _me_ that made him so angry?

On the days that he was gone with his family, the nice warm days, I would hang out with Angela and Jess. They'd become the closest friends to me in Forks. No one could battle for my friendship with Jacob though.

On days that left me particularly angry with Edward, I went to see him. This was at least once a week. Jacob was so warm and comforting. Ever since that night of the football game, there was a small electrical current between us. So many times it would have been so simple to just lean forward and brush lips.

But surprisingly, he kept his distance. It was actually sweet. And it made me like him even more. He was someone I could always turn to. And there was just something about him... He was so confident sometimes, so unlike his fifteen years. But then, after a brief spout of confidence, he'd back off again, nearly embarrassed.

He made me smile. He always listened to me. He wasn't like Newton. When I talked, he didn't spend half his time trying to peer down my shirt. He watched me, saw my body language. Just as I saw him.

He was getting more and more attractive every time I saw him. I didn't think it was possible.

"Just leave me alone, Edward! If you don't want to be friends, that's fine. But stop reeling me in like this and then leaving again," I said, walking away from him on my way to gym. He grabbed my arm to turn me around. I glared at him.

"Bella, this is hard for me too. Understand that," he said. I shuddered with anger. He didn't know what hard was. He was toying with me. Something inside me said he was just an asshole who went home with his siblings every day and they all told stories about who they pulled pranks on today. The thought made me want to throw something hard and heavy at his head.

"Just leave me alone," I said. He grabbed my arm again and this time didn't let go as he pulled me into a more diluted hallway. He backed me up against the wall, nearly taking my breath away. I shook him off as he came to a stop, but I had a feeling the only reason his hold severed was because he wanted it to.

"Look, I'm not trying to make this difficult. I just can't stay away from you," he said, leaning close to me. My breath hitched. I was hella mad at him. But right then, looking up into his eyes, I couldn't help myself. I caught a glimpse of a future with him. I saw our bodies entwined, covered in crimson silk sheets. It was like he had lit the candle to ignite my hormones.

His hand came up to rest by my head, leaning against the lockers behind me.

"Then don't," I whispered. His eyes were soft, caring. I hadn't seen them like that in far too long. His free hand came up and he brushed his fingers feather light over my cheek. I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes.

"We can't be together, Bella. You have to stay away from me," he said. I opened my eyes and saw the softness had hardened, his eyes were cold now. I felt my stomach finally settle as a new wave of reality pressed over me. The anger returned.

"Then stay the hell away from _me_," I said, ducking away from him. My blood started to boil and I tried to calm myself. My anger didn't make well with my clumsiness and I knew that. I headed for the parking lot.

Gym was not an option today. I went straight to my car and hopped in. I sat there for a moment, trying to calm down. My heart was racing, like it always did when I was near him. I didn't think. Instead, I pulled out of the school parking lot and drove.

Surprise, surprise, I ended up outside of Jake's house twenty minutes later. I glanced at the clock and bit my lip. Was he even out of school yet? I sighed and pulled my keys out of the ignition, playing with them.

Well, Billy would see me waiting out here if I didn't go up to the door. I kicked my door open and bounced up the front porch steps. I knocked on the door and glanced around. It was beautiful in La Push, despite the cold. I actually appreciated the sight of the frigid waters washing up on the shore.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" Billy asked. I turned to see him smiling. I greeted his smile with one of my own.

"Hi, Billy. Is Jake here? I really need to talk to him," I said, bouncing on my heels. I really needed to complain about how much Edward got on my nerves. Usually I didn't bring Edward up to Jake. We would just sit and talk about Arizona, my mother, his family, the beach, the movies, games- anything. But today, I needed to vent about him. I couldn't handle it anymore.

"He should be coming home from school any minute. He got out a few minutes ago and the school isn't very far," he said. I smiled, as best I could.

"Which way does he usually come from? I can walk and meet him," I said, tapping my foot. Billy chuckled.

"You two are unstoppable," he said, pointing me towards the school. I patted his shoulder.

"Thanks, Billy. I'll see you later," I said, taking the porch steps in one leap. I jogged off to find Jacob. I spotted him a mile away. Jacob. My Jake. Delicious, overwhelming, breath taking Jacob.

I mentally slapped myself. Behave.

I ducked behind a bush before he could see me and watched him. He was walking with two other guys and I watched them punch each other, twist their arms behind their back and so on. You know, guy things. I stifled a giggle as they approached

"What does your dad say?" one of the guys asked. I heard Jacob let out an audible sigh as I hid from sight.

"He says I should talk to Sam. I want nothing to do with his cult though," I heard him say. My heart fluttered. His voice was so dark, it sounded like he was clenching his teeth. I got to my feet as they passed and slipped out behind them. I kept their pace as they walked.

"Well, I say you just grab her and kiss her," the other guy said. From the tone of his voice, I could tell he was grinning ear to ear. Jacob punched his shoulder.

"Look, I'm not going to make a move on her. She sets the pace. It's what a gentleman would do," Jacob said, suddenly straightening up and making himself appear taller. I think it was to appear more of a gentleman. The two guys around him busted up laughing.

"Whatever, man. You're such a sissy," the guy on his left said. I made my move then. I jumped on Jacob from behind. I wrapped my legs around his waist and placed my hands over his eyes.

"You better be a gentleman and not a sissy," I said in his ear as he barely kept his balance.

"What the- Bells?" he asked, trying to turn and see me, even with my hands over his eyes. I grinned and removed my hands, wrapping them around his neck instead. He looked at me over his shoulder and laughed, putting his hands over my arms.

"Jesus, what the hell are you doing? Don't you have school?" he asked. I laughed haughtily and slipped down off his back. My hand ran down his arm. I almost cried when I had to drop it.

"School's for sissys," I said, breaking my gaze from his gorgeous face and glancing to the two guys he was with. The one on the left's mouth was open and the other one was just grinning, wildly. Jacob slipped his arm around my shoulders and brought me forward.

"Bella, meet Quil and Embry," he said. I smiled and waved. In all the time we'd spent together, I felt I already knew Q and Em. Jacob had told me so much about them. I'd just never really met them before.

"Nice to meet you both, finally," I said, reaching my hand out and shaking either of theirs. Quil knocked Embry's mouth shut. I was starting to blush.

"So what are you doing here?" Jacob asked as we all fell into stride with each other, walking home. I gave a small shrug, already feeling like my anger had never been here. Jacob did that for me. He was incredible. All I wanted to do was sit on the beach and laugh with him all day.

"I skipped gym. You know how much of a klutz I am," I said. I glanced up at him and then back to the path we were walking. I felt him staring at me. "I just didn't want to deal with it today." He pulled me closer to him and I smiled, resting my head against him. We came to a stop sign and Jacob stopped.

"Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm sure we'll be seeing you a lot more now," Quil said, offering his hand again. I shook it and then Embry's. I smiled.

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh, we'll just be bugging Jacob to let us come by more often," he said, winking. I laughed, putting my hand over my mouth as Jacob pulled away and kicked at him. They both took off running.

"Your friends are amusing," I said, turning to face him. He came back to me and put his hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye. Bending down to do so, by the way. Had he grown since the last time I'd seen him?

"Not as amusing as they'll be when I catch them," he said. The way my heart beat then made Edward's affect on me earlier seem like a slug. His eyes, so dark and stormy. So strong and independent. I'd never wanted him so badly. "Now, what happened?" he asked.

I blinked as he took a step back. My thoughts made their way back into my brain. They had been on cloud nine. I took in a steadying breath and smiled a little, turning back to our journey back to his house.

"What makes you think something happened?" I asked, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and looking anywhere but at him. Maybe I'd stop wanting to jump him.

"Oh, you know, you skipped class. You don't seem like a class skipper to me," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice and I couldn't help myself. I turned to see him flashing those gorgeous teeth with that tiny corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. I nearly came undone.

Luckily, my klutz saved me. I tripped over nothing but air and Jacob shot forward to catch me, grabbing me by the arm. I swore I saw the flakes in the concrete. He yanked me back up and stabilized me.

"Wow, that was close," I said. He grabbed my face and turned me to him.

"No kidding, you ok?" he asked, turning my face to the side. I laughed a little, pushing him away.

"I didn't even touch the ground," I said. He didn't look convinced but let it go. I didn't argue when he slid his arm around my shoulders to keep me stable.

"Don't change the subject," he said. I laughed out loud.

"How does me taking a trip towards the ground sound like changing the subject?" I joked. It went on like that until we made it back to his place. He opened the door for me and led me inside.

"Well, Bell, I didn't expect to see you here," my dad's voice said. I immediately dropped my hand from Jacob's. He put an extra foot or two between us.

"Dad! What are you doing here?" I asked, seeing him and Billy sitting right before me in the living room. I looked at Billy and he gave me a non nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"Had something I needed to talk to Billy about. Was surprised to see your truck out there. You must have sped over here. School only got out ten minutes ago," he said. I swallowed and looked to Jake. He stepped forward.

"It's my fault, Charlie," he said. I blinked as my dad turned his gaze on him.

"No, Jake, don't-" I started, but he held his hand out, shaking his head.

"They have to find out eventually, Bells," he said, looking at me. Something short circuited in my brain. What did they need to find out about? He turned his attention back to my dad. "You see, Charlie, dad. I haven't been doing so well in one of my classes. A math class. Bella said she would help me bring it up before end of term."

I nearly jumped for joy. Wow. I never knew lying could be so easy. How did Jake do it? The look on my dad's face was priceless, yet still angry.

"If she misses any more of her classes, her grades will be falling," he said. I shook my head.

"Dad, it's gym. How much lower a grade can I get?" I asked. He opened his mouth and then stopped. I felt like he was hiding a smile, then he shrugged.

"Guess you're right there," he said. I laughed inwardly.

"Don't worry though, Charlie," Jake said, turning to look at me. "We won't be letting this interfere with her school. This was a one time deal," he said. I could have glared at him if he hadn't just saved me from a long explanation to my dad. One that involved Edward.

Ew. Definitely did not want to go there.

"Alright, well. You make sure you look through those papers, Billy. I'll collect them next time I see you," my dad said, getting up out of the seat. Billy rolled himself after my dad and I blended into the wall as they went out the front door. Then I followed them.

Billy and Jake waved bye to my dad from the door and I followed him out to his car. How had I not noticed it when Jake and I got home from his school? How had he not noticed it. Were we really that caught up in each other? My dad turned to me, one foot in the car.

"Jake's a good kid, Bell. Make sure he stays that way," he said. I didn't know how to take that. Did he know Jake was lying? Did he think he was telling the truth, and telling me I should help him keep his grades up? Was a a clear piece of glass that he could read? I nodded, hoping that answer would suffice. He smiled at me and I couldn't help a small smile back.

"Behave, you. And I'll see you at home. Don't worry about dinner, I'll stop at the diner," he said. I nodded and he waited another second before getting into the car fully. He shut the door and rolled the window down. I walked over to him.

"I understand how kids get at your age-"

"Dad, don't," I said, hiding a laugh. He smiled, looking extremely embarrassed.

"Just... I love you, Bells. Don't do anything stupid," he said. At that moment, Jake popped his head outside the door, his ponytail swinging over his shoulder. He waved and I waved back.

"I love you too, dad. Be careful," I said, patting his shoulder and stepping away from the car.

"Always am," he said. With that, he was gone. I walked over to the house but Jake was walking down the steps.

Jacob's POV

I followed my dad back into the house and watched as he got settled in the living room again. There was a silence in the air. I knew he needed to say something. I waited quietly, glancing out the window to see Bella.

"So you're lying for Bella now?" my dad asked. I let out a breath and lowered my head like a shamed animal.

"What was I supposed to do, dad?" I asked, looking up at him. I was surprised to see him smiling.

"Exactly what you did. I hadn't expected Charlie to be here so early," he said. I looked back out to see Charlie still with one foot in the car. "Jacob, she's my best friend's daughter. Don't do anything you'll regret," he said. Charlie got in the car. I turned and nodded to my dad before poking my head out.

Bella was beautiful. Especially when she laughed. Or rather, when she tried to keep from laughing. I smiled as I waved and she waved back. A second later and Charlie was backing out and turning back to Forks. I stepped outside and met her at the bottom of the steps.

"Let's go for a walk," I said. She smiled and I put my arm around her shoulders, bringing her close to me. She smelled amazing, always. It was Bella. Some very soft fruity smell, mixed with something that reminded me of home. We made our way down to the beach in silence before I broke it.

"So, now that I lied for you, you have to tell me what was bugging you to make you miss class," I said. She looked out at the ocean and I followed her gaze. Another moment later and she pulled away from me and made her way to a rock. I found one closer to the ground to sit on. She was sitting on one the height of a stool.

"It's just this guy at school," she said. Suddenly, I regretted pressing her to tell me. I may not be making the moves on Bella, like I had told Quil and Em I hadn't, but I didn't want to hear about other guys moving in on her. I felt compelled though.

"Who?" I asked, looking away from her and out at the ocean. It was a dreary, rainy morning. Clouds covered every inch of the sky.

"Edward Cullen," she said. I closed my eyes, forcing myself not to rise against the name. I knew the stories. Hell, she knew the stories now, since I'd told them to her over a month ago. What the hell was she doing mixing with him?

"What did he do?" I asked, feeling my teeth start to grit together. I couldn't bare to look at her. The anger was getting harder to contain.

"I dunno, he just... He's saved my life twice and yet we never talk. He's always brooding and seems angry with me. I think he regrets saving my life," she said. I turned my head to look at her, ready to laugh. The look on her face made me want to kill. She really did think he regretted saving her. She really was putting the value of her life in his hands. I reached forward and took her hands in mine, bringing them close.

"Bella, don't let him get to you. He's an asshole and if he can't see the friendship you've laid out right in front of him, he doesn't deserve it," I said. She smiled and I leaned forward and kissed her hands before letting them go. I felt the embarrassment start to flood over me again. Yeah, I was falling for her. And falling for her hard. Soon, I would be going to Sam just to keep my head straight.

Bella's POV

We talked for an hour or so about lighter subjects. Jake made me laugh at everything he could, trying to brighten my mood. But Edward seemed to have really brought it down today. I couldn't get over it. Eventually, we started walking home.

As we reached the porch, my phone started ringing and Jake waited with the door held open as I pulled it out of my pants.

"Unknown number," I said, showing him the phone before flipping it open. He stepped inside as I asked, "Hello?" There was a loud clatter, yelling in the background.

"Bella, it's Charlie!" a female voice cried hysterically over the phone line.

**A/N: Oh, dear! What is this? A cliff hanger? Read, review, love it! What's going on with Charlie? My my...  
**


	6. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Why?**

_Previously, in Inevitable Evening-_

"Hello?" There was a loud clatter, yelling in the background.

"Bella, it's Charlie!" a female voice cried hysterically over the phone line.

_Now..._

"We've already called the ambulance, you need to get here now!" the female cried. I was still stunned. I'm surprised my phone was still in my hand. Charlie? What had happened? I had just seen him a little over an hour ago.

"Who is this?" I asked.

"Just get to the diner, Bella," the woman said and then the line went dead. I shook for a split second before I shut the phone and ran to my truck. I didn't think as I started driving out of La Push. Words floated to the tip of my mind.

_Bella. Charlie. Get here. Ambulance._

"Ambulance," I said out loud. If they had called an ambulance, they would definitely get there before I could. I would go to the hospital. I needed to know what had happened.

The ride there seemed agonizingly slow. I think I was in shock. I pushed my poor truck faster than it had ever gone. I ignored the red curbs and yanked my keys out of the ignition as I ran into the hospital.

"M-my dad? Charlie Swan? Is he here?" I asked, hoping I was wrong. Was this all a joke? Someone's cruel idea of getting to me?

"He's in the ER right now, you can wait here- Miss! Miss!" the woman cried after me as I took off towards the ER. The same place I'd been when Edward had saved me from Tyler's accident.

"Dad! Charlie!" I cried, hoping he'd pop his head out and wave, smiling at me. Everyone looked after me like I was loopy. I passed by a room and immediately flew to a stop. I back tracked and threw my hands against the glass. Every one inside jumped, except a man in a white coat, leaning over Charlie. I didn't realize one of the nurse's walking towards the door.

There lay my dad, covered in blood. It covered his chest and his arms, his pants. His shirt had been stripped from him. I went to the door but the nurse opened it and stepped out, closing it behind her.

"What happened to my dad?" I asked, feeling tears already threatening to take me over.

"Chief Swan was at the diner when it got robbed. He was very brave and he brought down the robber, but he got shot. Three times," the woman said. I tried to jump past her and into the room but she grabbed me and pulled me back.

"That's my dad! Please, I have to see him!" I had to see my dad. Earlier at Jake's would not be the last time I talked to him. I needed him to see me, to know I wasn't going to let him go anywhere.

"Dr. Cullen is doing everything he can. He's removed two bullets but one hit his heart," she said. I very weakly registered the fact that the man in the room was Dr. Cullen. That would make sense. He was calm, like Edward. He wouldn't have jumped from surprise. My eyes flew back to him to take in his blonde hair, ragged and in disarray. He looked stressed. From here, the slack in his shoulders, I could tell this wasn't good.

"No, no, no," I whispered, losing my energy to fight.

"I'd suggest calling immediate family," the nurse said, quietly. Apparently, the only thing I could register were orders. I slipped my hand into my pocket and grabbed my phone, finding my mom's number and calling her. The nurse went back inside the room, giving me a second look. Apparently she had concluded that I wouldn't drop the phone and run in after her.

"Mom, please... Pick up the phone," I said, sniffling. I ran my hand through my hair and started pacing, unable to take my eyes off my dad. The heart monitor was still ok. I knew nothing about health besides what I'd seen in tv shows. But the heart monitor at a steady beep was a good thing.

"Baby!" Renee said. I almost pictured her in front of me, her arms spread wide, waiting for a hug. I wanted to fall into her. I wanted her arms to shield me, hold me tight and keep me from the pain of the world. I didn't want to deal with this.

"Mom, it's dad. He-he got shot," I said, my voice shaking. There was silence and then movement.

"Bella, what happened? Are you hurt?" she asked. I closed my eyes against the words. _No, but I wish I was. __If it was me, I wouldn't have to feel this frightened, I wouldn't have to worry about dad.__  
_

"No, I'm fine. Dad went to the diner, I guess there was robber-" I watched the heart monitor start to drop. I felt my heart beat slow with it. My mom was saying something, but I couldn't hear her.

"He's going into cardiac arrest!" Dr. Cullen yelled. He dropped whatever utensils he'd been working with and started performing CPR. I threw my hand against the glass window.

"NO!" I screamed.

"Bella, Bella, honey, it's ok. I'm getting a plane ticket right now," my mom said, but that was the last I heard. The phone slipped from my hand as I placed both hands on the window. Dr. Cullen was frantic, I could see it. His hands were working furiously, pumping my dad's chest.

"Crash cart!" someone yelled through the hall. I pressed myself up against the window as they rounded me and went into the room. I watched as they prepared the paddles and handed them to Dr. Cullen.

"Clear!" he yelled, everyone taking an extra step back. I put my forehead against the window with the spike of his heart and then it flat lined again.

Someone reached forward and checked for a pulse, shaking their head.

"Clear!" he yelled again. It went on for what seemed like eternity. I felt myself crumbling. Eventually, someone grabbed his arm. He turned to look at them as they shook their head. He turned and looked at me then. His eyes bore straight into mine, never ending. He rubbed his forehead with his arm and then took off the gloves. He threw them at a trash can with a yell of frustration.

I slipped to the ground, shutting my eyes and running my hands through my hair. The tears came then. Full on and strong. They wracked my body with their intensity, shutting down my ability to think. The only thing I saw was Charlie's face.

I had just seen him. We had just been together. He had been laughing, getting ready to ground the hell out of me for skipping school. He had just been here, existed. He was as real as Jake or Billy. He was as real as me.

He couldn't be gone.

_An hour later._

"Honey, your phone's been ringing non stop. Do you want me to answer it for you," a nurse said. The nurse. The nurse that had told me what had happened to Charlie. I was still sitting on the floor outside of the room. I hadn't had the coordination to get up.

I looked over to see my phone vibrating violently against the ground and singing a tune I couldn't hear. I reached over and pulled it to me, just missing a call. I opened it to see there were forty three missed calls. The majority were my mother. Two were Jake's.

The phone started vibrating again. It was Renee. My hand shook as I opened the phone.

"Bella? Bella, what the hell happened-"

"Mom, no," I said, my voice cracking. New tears began to come to my eyes. I looked up at the ceiling to keep them at bay. Silence greeted me. I tried to come to terms with what I had to say. What I had to say to my mother, to Jake and Billy, to everyone, from here on out.

I would never see my father smile again. I would never know his embrace. He would never see his grand children, if I ended up having them. We would never again sit in awkward silence. I would never get to make him dinner.

"Mom, he's dead..."

**A/N : Don't hate me! I've had this idea ever since I started "A New Heart" and I promise you, you will all enjoy the story, later on! **

**Plus, can you imagine all the consoling Jacob has to do?...  
**


	7. Chapter 5

**Before I start, let me say that you guys are awesome. The feedback I'm getting is awesome. I can't wait to hear more from you all. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Chapter 5 – Misery  
**

Bella's POV

By the time I got off the phone with my mother, my phone was beeping in my ear, telling me I had low battery. A glance at the clock told me it was just past eight at night. I also had two more messages from Jake. Listening to them, he was just wondering why I'd taken off so quickly.

I didn't have the heart to call and tell him and Billy the horrid news.

I stumbled up to my feet, shoving my phone in my pocket. Renee had already gotten a plane ticket to come here, but it didn't leave until three in the morning. She wouldn't be here until at least six. What would I do until then. I turned around to face the window that I had been watching my life unfold through. The curtain was drawn around the bed my dad lie in. The glass was frigid against my fingertips and it was then I realized I was sweating.

Where would I stay tonight? What would happen in the morning? Where would I stay after all of this was over? I couldn't leave Forks... Never. My dad was here. Everything in this town was him. I would never leave it.

My future was so uncertain...

A hand rested on my shoulder and I let out a breath at the contact. I didn't even care who it was. It grounded me. I had been floating above the scene for so long, watching, expecting and waiting. It all felt so surreal. Now reality was setting in. The hand on my shoulder was cool. Comforting. Collecting. I finally turned to see Dr. Cullen.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he said. His eyes flashed to mine but then turned away. In that one glance, I saw years and years of guilt. He had probably seen so much death, working in the hospitals. Where had he worked before this? A bigger town? One with a higher death rate? I let out a small breath and tried to function. I had the ability to speak... somewhere.

"It's not your fault, Dr. Cullen. You tried your best, I saw you," I said, glancing back to the window. The movement sent a shockwave through my chest. I looked down at the space between me and him. "I don't blame you."

And I didn't. Dr. Cullen had been so very helpful to me when I came here after the incident with Tyler. He was a nice person. A person who seemed to care deeply for each and every one of the people he came into contact with. If there had been any way he could save my dad, I knew he would have.

Watching him try to save my dad, even when everyone else seemed to think it was helpless, it had opened a space in my heart and let him in. Or maybe that was just my need for a father figure filling itself.

As I watched him, I saw no relief flood through him from my statement. I saw no hope for redemption. He didn't seem to know how to handle facing me. Was this typical of all doctors who lost a patient?

"You shouldn't be here still. Do you have a ride home?" he asked, glancing at the clock on the wall, suddenly. I looked up also, though I already knew the time. It gave me something to do.

"Um..." I thought, trying to focus on his question. I felt too wrapped up in my thoughts. I grasped his question then. "I only lived with my dad. My mom's on her way from Arizona, but the flight," I replied, jerking my thumb to point behind my shoulder. At an imaginary Renee, on her way to the airport. I couldn't bring my eyes to meet his again. I glanced down the hallway instead.

"Do you think you can talk to the staff and get them to let me sleep in a chair in the emergency room or something?" I asked, watching the front desk from where we stood. The nurses worked busily, though I wondered on what. This wasn't a big town. I wouldn't bother them.

After a long silence, I realized he still hadn't answered me. I closed my eyes for a second and then turned my eyes to him. They connected with his. Again, a flush of guilt, remorse and loneliness slid through me. I swallowed, unable to tear my gaze away. His eyes were so pained.

Suddenly, I was aware of my appearance. Maybe he looked so upset because I looked like a train wreck. My hand fluttered to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. I felt it matted and slightly wet. Had I been crying into my hair? I reached up and wiped my eyes, glad I didn't wear make up. It would have added to the scene.

He jolted a little, seeming to come alive. His eyes broke from mine and I took in a quiet but deep breath as I looked away. I had been too caught up in his grief.

"Bella... Would you be opposed to staying at my house, with my family and myself?" he asked. I think my mouth dropped open. I quickly picked it up as I looked up at him. His eyes seemed to beg me.

_Please, let me make some part of this right. Let me ease some of the pain of your loss._

"Oh, no, Dr. Cullen, I couldn't accept that sort of hospitality-"

"You'd be hurting my feelings if you declined," he said, a mock smile tugging at the corner of his lips. I knew it was a forced smile. The last thing his lips wanted to do was tilt up in the habit. "Please, this is the least I can offer. You shouldn't be alone in an emergency room tonight," he said.

I took in another breath, glancing down the hallway. A nurse was looking towards us and I caught her gaze. She broke it and went back along her routine. I bit my lip, swallowed. I didn't want to stay here. I didn't want to be alone tonight. Even if I was with a complete stranger. It had to be better than alone...

A complete stranger was sometimes something you needed. Someone on the outside, looking in. They could put things into perspective, make you realize things. I turned my gaze back to his and shrugged my shoulder up slightly. I nodded in agreement and he smiled a little more. I could still see the pain in his eyes.

I turned around and looked in through the window again. The curtain was still masking my father. It was for the best. If I saw him now, I might break down again. I might walk in, curl up on the floor-

"Come, let me show you to the car," Dr. Cullen's light voice prodded, his hand on my shoulder again. There was a slight pressure, not at all forceful. Just a suggestion. The touch of someone who knew what it was like to suffer. He directed me to the left and then I tore my gaze away as we started walking. His hand fell away once he realized I was paying attention to the course we were walking.

As we walked, I watched him out of the corner of my eyes. As the same with the rest of the Cullens, he had a swift, competent grace. He walked as if on air, the bumps and air in the sidewalk that always plagued me never a bother to him. He had a coat draped over his arm and a briefcase in his other hand.

He stepped forward before me and held the door open that led to outside. I stepped through the threshold and felt the frigid air whip around me. It was a dark contrast compared to inside the hospital. I pulled the collar of my shirt up a little and followed him through the parking lot. It took me a moment to realize he was walking towards a sporty little black car.

I lulled in the parking lot as the car beeped, acknowledging that it had just been unlocked. He stepped to the drivers door as I stood back and watched it shimmer in the hospital's parking lot lights. It looked like he had definitely worked in a bigger city before he moved here. I looked up and caught his gaze over the car.

"Great salary," he said, the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile that flashed some of his teeth. In that moment, I found myself thinking he definitely should have been a dentist. He slipped into the car and I walked over to the passenger seat. Before I could reach out for the handle, he had reached over on the inside and opened it for me. I ducked in and pulled the door shut behind me.

As he put the key in the ignition, sweet, soft classical music drifted over my ears and the leather seats. I closed my eyes for only a second and felt like I was walking into a ballroom in the 1900's. I felt peaceful and light hearted. But my chest still felt heavy. My eyes fluttered open and I reached into my pocket for my phone as Dr. Cullen exited the parking lot.

"Where do you live?" I asked, flipping open the phone and preparing Renee's number.

"Hey, sweetheart," her voice greeted me after Dr. Cullen had told me his address.

"Hey mom," I said, guiding my phone towards the window so I could look out at the passing trees.

"Where are you going to stay?" she asked. She had been worried about it. I'm sure she hadn't stopped thinking about it.

"I'm going home with a doctor from the hospital, Dr. Cullen," I said, glancing at his reflection in the window I had been looking through. His eyes were on the road.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked, her worried mother tone coming through. I scoffed a little.

"Mom, he's a doctor," I said. She paused and then laughed a little.

"Do you know him? Why are you going with him?" she asked. I let out a little breath, looking up at the roof of the ceiling.

_Mom, he was dad's doctor, he let him die. He's guilt ridden and trying to make up for it,_ I heard myself thinking. I shook my head. I couldn't say that, even if he WASN'T in the car.

"He offered, mom. Look, I'll explain later... I just need somewhere to sleep," I said. There was another pause and I felt her biting her lip.

"Just, keep your phone on you. And give me their address," she said. I spouted off the address and closed my eyes, watching her in my memory, leaning over and writing down on a coffee spilled piece of paper.

"Alright... Do you at least know him?" she asked. I stared through Dr. Cullen's reflection, watching the dense forest as we passed.

"He was my doctor when I went to the hospital for that car accident with Tyler. And I know his kids. They're nice," I said, recalling the Cullens precisely in my head. They weren't friendly, but they weren't mean. Besides Edward, I hadn't even spoken to the other four. A thought pressed into my head. Would they have room for me to stay with them?

"Alright, I love you, Bella. Call me when you're settled," she said. I nodded, then realized she wouldn't see that.

"Yeah, I love you too, mom. Night," I said, then flipped the phone shut. The phone beeped at me again.

Never again would I take that phrase for granted... I love you. I tried to recall now. Had I said a proper goodbye to my dad before he left? Had I said I loved him. I'm pretty sure I had... If I had known this was going to happen, I would have grabbed him, begged him to take me home so I could have dinner with him. He shouldn't have even been at that diner.

"I'm sorry if this raises any questions," Dr. Cullen's voice reeled me back in from insanity and a break down. I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned to look at him. His eyes hadn't left the road.

"Oh, no, it's just my mom. She's usually not like this. She's more protective now, what with everything that's..." I stopped for a moment and then turned my head back to look outside the window, whispering quietly, "happened."

"Just relax. We'll be there in less than five minutes," he said. I gave a short nod and then rested my head back on the head rest. I let my eyes drift shut and felt fear slide through me. Darkness. Alone. Is this what Charlie felt right before he died? I shuddered. I searched for anything calming, anything that would soothe me.

Jacob's voice fluttered into my head and then I recalled his smile. My heart skipped a beat and then popped against my chest. Jacob. Billy. How would I ever be able to tell Billy what happened to my dad? I swallowed a sob and opened my eyes. Alone with eyes closed was not a good idea.

I realized then we were driving over gravel. When I looked out the window, I saw trees less than five feet away. I looked ahead and saw Dr. Cullen pulling us up to a very large, very bright and open house. There were glass windows everywhere. In most places, they covered the whole expanse of the wall. I breathed in at the sight, so impressive.

It was a moment before I realized Dr. Cullen had stopped the car and pulled the keys out of the ignition. His door was open.

"If you don't mind, could you give me a few minutes alone with my family? I haven't exactly told them about this yet," he said, one foot of the car.

"Oh, no, of course not. I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience," I said, opening my door and getting out. Both our doors shut and he walked past me, shaking his head.

"No, not at all. Just let me inform them, especially about the circumstances..." he said, looking at me. I swallowed. Of course. He wouldn't want them asking me about how my dad was, when he was, in fact, dead. I felt something bitter in the back of my throat. I was that girl, now. The girl with the father that no one could talk about. I took in a breath and cemented myself then. I would not be weak. I would not fall to pieces. I would get through this.

I nodded and he gave a brief nod and then turned and walked up the porch.

I could feel and see the guilt riding hard on his shoulders.

Carlisle's POV

I walked up the steps to my home, placing care in each step. I opened the front door and took in a deep breath, watching the floor as I shut the door behind me.

"Family meeting," I said, just a whisper. My family would hear. They all probably realized I was home late. Had Alice already seen what had happened? No, she shouldn't have. She wasn't watching for it.

My wife was the first one I saw. A look of concern was already spread across her face, clearly. She stepped forward, moving too fast. I was glad Bella wasn't inside yet. We would all have to watch ourselves while she was here. I took her hand and pulled it to my cheek, caressing her.

"What happened?" she asked. I opened my mouth to tell her to wait but was saved the trouble. Two more faces appeared over her shoulder and I saw Jasper pulling Alice down the stairs.

"Carlisle?" Alice asked. Something in her eyes. She knew. She looked confused though. "I saw Bella-"

"We'll wait for the others," I said, looking at her. She stopped and then gave a nod. I didn't know how much she knew, but I didn't want her to explain now.

Another millisecond and Edward was coming down the stairs. His gaze went straight to Alice. I glanced at her to see she was deep in thought. Hopefully about something other than her vision. Edward looked to me then, I felt my thoughts becoming less my own.

"You'll know soon enough," I said, trying to keep my thoughts off Bella. Off the day at work. Off the guilt, the sorrow. It was overwhelming.

Edward settled in on a couch and we waited another ten seconds before our last two members joined us. Rosalie was tugging on Emmett's hand, pulling him up the stairs and to the first floor of the house. They had preferred the room below.

Rose smiled and punched Emmett before she turned and slammed into a wall of completely opposite emotions. Her smile flittered away and was replaced with a worried glare to Edward. Then her eyes locked on me.

"Carlisle? What is it, did they find out what we are-"

"No, Rosalie. Calm yourself. And prepare. You're not going to like what I have to say," I said. A frown turned her face into a more morbidly beautiful creation. Some people just looked prettier when they were upset. This was Rosalie. She came into the circle, leading Emmett in behind her.

"I ask that you all don't ask questions, and that you respect my decision for tonight. Most of you won't like it, but we don't have time to discuss it. We will tomorrow," I said, my gaze lingering on each of my family for a second. After a look or nod of approval from each of them, I went on.

It was difficult.

"Alright then... Isabella Swan is outside," I said.

**A/N : *gasp* What in the world is the family going to think? Oh dear?**


	8. Chapter 6

**Oooo, I'm so excited about where this story is going in my head! **

**Chapter 6 – Received**

Last time, in Inevitable Evening...

"_Alright then... Isabella Swan is outside," I said. _

Now...

Carlisle's POV

Several yells of my name, three gasps, two owner's hands slamming into their marble faces. My eyes took in all their reactions. It was what I had expected. The only one who stood quiet was the woman at my side, my wife, my lover, my best friend.

Edward's eyes were trained on mine, reading my every thought. I couldn't help everything from flooding out then. He wouldn't want her here. She was too tempting to him and after working so hard at keeping her away, I was inviting her into our home.

I watched as his expression changed from complete irritation and anger, frustration, to softer, weaker, broken. He saw Bella as I had seen her. He felt my emotions as I had felt them, as I still felt them now. My guilt was all because of this. I hadn't been able to save the father of the person my son cared for more than any one else in the world. I had caused her pain and grief. And in turn, I had brought it on Edward.

"It's not your fault," he said, softly. All of this had passed between us in less than three seconds. I gave a short nod, unable to address all our feelings now. Then the dread set in on his face.

"Carlisle, how could you do this... You could have sent her anywhere, found any one else for her to stay with-" he started.

"You understand why I couldn't. Edward, you'll just have to deal with this. Bella needs you. She needs all of us," I said, tearing my gaze from him and looking at the rest of my family.

"Excuse me, but can you fill the rest of us in on this idiotic choice?" Rosalie said, raising her voice. Esme stepped forward and I grabbed her hand. Her other hand shot up, shaking a pointed finger at our blonde daughter.

"Respect him, Rose. And watch your tongue," she said, melting back in at my side. Rosalie grew quiet but still steamed. Emmett put his hand on her shoulder, obviously feeling that this was something bigger than just a Bella sleep over.

Silence ripped through the air before I spoke.

"I let her father die, Rosalie!" I said, the silence breaking me. My composure fell to pieces, crumbling my world with it. My voice cracked, something I wasn't used to, but the grief was finally taking its toll.

Rosalie looked away from me instantly. I saw shame cross her face.

Esme linked her arm with mine at my side, offering me support, stability.

Edward cradled his head in his hands. I don't know if he was still dreading Bella staying the night or if he was too swept up in the pain he felt at her grievance.

Another second of silence passed, letting the comment sink in.

"At the diner, someone was robbing it. Charlie tried to stop it, but the man shot him. He shot the robber back, killed him. But I wasn't able to save Charlie when he got to the hospital..." I said. I looked at Esme, her eyes wide, empathetic as she looked up at me. "I couldn't leave her there, she had nowhere else to go... She asked if I could get a chair for her in the ER... Not only is this her pain, it is ours. Edward loves her. Her pain is his. His is ours."

Esme's hand reached up and stroked my back, calming me. She was nodding her agreement. My Esme, she was so maternal. She wouldn't have been able to turn Bella down either. I looked to the rest of my family.

"Her mother will be back in town tomorrow morning. I'll take her back to the hospital with me-" I started. A knock at the front door interrupted me. I let out a breath and pulled away from Esme, glancing back at my family as I walked to the door and opened it when they seemed as ready as they could be.

"I-I'm sorry to bother, but it's sort of cold out-" she started. I stepped back immediately to let her in, watching her try to control her chattering teeth, cursing myself.

"No-no, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you outside," I said, urging her to come in. She stepped through the threshold and I closed the door behind her. I stepped up behind her and watched my family over the top of Bella's head. Esme was at the couch, pulling an afghan from it. I urged Bella forward Esme walked towards us.

Bella's POV

"My name is Esme, I'm Carlisle's wife," the woman wrapping a blanket around me said. I smiled a little and nodded to her.

"Thank you, so much. For this, and for having me. I hope my staying here won't be too much of an inconvenience," I said, using the words I had planned out in my head on my way to their front door. A soft smile tilted her lips as she ran her hand over the back of my head. She shook her head.

"No, never..." she said, looking at me with the softest, most heart warming eyes I'd ever seen. As she backed away, Carlisle placed his hand on my back and urged me forward further.

"And you know my children. That's Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. And of course, Edward," Carlisle said, going from right to left. Alice smiled at me, warmly. I felt warm just looking at her. Jasper gave a short nod, indicating he knew I existed. Rosalie crossed her arms and glared, looking irritated at me, like always. I really wondered what her problem with me was. Emmett gave a small wave, hiding a smile in his eyes.

Then my eyes fell on Edward. Beautiful, dazzling, breath taking Edward. I was breathless. His eyes were so dark, so intense. It looked as if he too was grieving, just as me. I turned my eyes away, feeling guilty for imposing on them all. As the silence went on, I lowered my gaze to the ground, working the blanket's fabric between my fingers. Then I turned to Carlisle.

"Please, Dr. Cullen-"

"Carlisle. Please, call me Carlisle," he said. I swallowed at his warm gaze, trying to get the courage to say what I knew was right.

"Carlisle... I really do feel like a burden here. I could call a friend and see if I can stay with them-"

"No," a sharp word came from behind me. I turned and looked at Edward, along with everyone else in the room. He got to his feet, increasing his frightening demeanor ten fold. His eyes bore straight into mine. I felt like he was boring into my soul. I took in a sharp breath.

"You can stay here. As you can see, we have more than enough room. This is no inconvenience after what's fallen in your home," he said. His eyes broke on his last word and so did my chest. I turned my eyes to the ceiling, then closed them, finding it easier to cope. I didn't want to think about Charlie right now. I couldn't think about my dad-

"Bella, I'll show you to your room," Carlisle said, putting pressure on my back. I opened my eyes and avoided eye contact as he guided me towards the stairs. I felt the eyes trail my figure as I walked up the stairs, trying not to trip over myself. It was so hard to keep the tears from slipping. One managed its way down my cheek and I suppressed a sob.

Carlisle pulled his hand away as we reached a door on the left. I stopped and he leaned forward to open it. He stepped back to allow me in after turning on the light. I went into the room and bit on my lip. It was decorated in forest greens and mahogany. There was a large queen sized bed centered on the left wall, and a dresser right across from it on the right wall. A closet was on my left. I turned to face Carlisle and found Esme instead.

She offered me another warm smile.

"This room is beautiful," I said, glancing at the dresser again. It even had a full mirror along the wall. She stepped inside the room as she nodded.

"Alice decorated this room. She's very artistic, and has a great sense of color schemes," Esme said, running her fingertips over the wall. She turned her eyes back to me and I saw heart break behind them. I looked away. Watching someone look at me that way... So Carlisle did tell them my father... My father died.

I brought my hand up to my mouth and felt the tears rack my body again. I stiffled them back, but one tear made its lonely trail down my cheek, just like before. I reached up to wipe it away but Esme was in front of me. She grabbed my hand and pulled it away, pulling me into a hug instead.

"Bella, you don't need to hide from us..." she whispered. Her words just made me want to cry more.

"Esme, I'm sorry. I don't mean to-"

"Hush, child, stop apologizing. There's no reason for it," she said. Finally, I just let myself cave. I lifted the blanket a little, trying not to get her shirt wet. I slipped to the ground and she fell with me, keeping her arms around me the whole time.

My mom hadn't been here after Dr. Cullen had come out to tell me my father had passed. No one had been there. I had kept myself from crying this whole time. My throat hurt so terribly because of the constant strain it took to keep the flood at bay. To let it out now, it was like a dam breaking. All of my misery, all my sorrow, it was flooding straight onto the blanket.

I was so frustrated, so angry. Why did this have to happen? My father wasn't even old. He wasn't a bad man. Why did this have to happen to him? To me? Esme's hand was running over my hair, calming me. I felt like a small child with my grand mother. She was rocking me gently. I was bonding with her.

After what must have been ten minutes of me blubbering on her, I finally pulled away, wiping at my eyes. She smiled as she pulled my hands away and rubbed her cool thumbs gently under my eyes. She ran her fingers over my cheek and then nodded.

"If there's anything you need to talk about, all of us are here for you," she said, softly. I gave a small nod as I got up off the ground. She followed suit. I sat on the bed and looked up at her, feeling guilty for my next phrase.

"I think I just... need some time alone," I finished, swallowing my guilt. I looked up. She didn't seem as if it bothered her. No, it actually appeared as if she'd been expecting me to say it. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead then turned and left, closing my door most of the way. She left it open a crack, enough for me to tell the light was still on outside the room.

I let out a deep breath and pushed the blanket off my shoulders. I rubbed at my eyes once more and then looked to my left, coming into contact with my own appearance. Surprisingly, I didn't look like I'd just cried my eyes out. My cheeks were tinged pink and my eyes a little puffy, but I was otherwise the same as always.

I sighed and looked around the room. I had lied. The last thing I needed was time alone. Loneliness would be the death of me. I shed the blanket, feeling more than warm enough now. I closed the distance to the door and rested my head against it a little, with my eyes shut.

Whoever I ran into... I would just say I needed to talk to Carlisle. That was it. I took in a deep breath and lifted my head, opening my eyes. I pulled on the door and stepped out of the room. I looked either way and then made my way to the stairs. No more than two steps, I saw Edward coming up the stairs. I took in a breath and made to take a step back and run, but his eyes looked up then.

I felt him take me in, every part of me. His eyes hit my legs first, trailed up, ran straight over my pelvis, my hips, my waist, over my stomach. His gaze was like a hot rake, fire still lighting the edges. He continued with a brief pause at my chest and then met my eyes. I swallowed and looked away, feeling a blush heating my cheeks.

Jesus, what was wrong with me. Charlie had just passed and I was already letting this guy get to me. It was like he had some odd leash on me, bringing me back to him. I hung onto my frustration with myself as he made it to the top of the stairs. His eyes were still burning straight into mine as I looked up at him again. This time I couldn't tear myself away. He took one more step, leaving a good 5 steps between us. Silence stretched on for a few seconds before he cleared his voice and looked away.

"Sorry, I was just heading to my room," he said, finally breaking eye contact. I let my eyes drop to the floor and shook my head.

"No, I'm sorry," I said, stepping to the side so he could pass.

"Did you need anything?" he asked. My head popped up and I met his gaze again.

... _I was looking for Carlisle. You were looking for Carlisle. Say it. Stop acting like an idiot and say it!_

"I-I was just... Um... The bathroom?" I asked, finally sputtering out my ridiculous excuse. He turned away, a smile at the corner of his mouth. That smile that had always intrigued me, captivated me...

"It's right, right there. The erm, second door on the right," he said, stepping closer and indicating to the door. I turned and looked at it and nodded. I hurried towards it.

"Thank you," I murmured, stepping inside and closing the door behind me. I turned the lock and then leaned against the door, closing my eyes. I heard him chuckle as he made his way down the hall.

_Idiot... You stupid, idiot..._ I thought, willing my heart to stop racing. I don't know what it was about him. Something deep inside me said to never be alone in the same room with him. Another part of me wanted to lock myself in the same room with him for a year.

After several moments of dawdling in the bathroom, pretending I had something to do inside it, I flushed the toilet, for effect, and then opened the door. I peered outside, not knowing what I expected. Did I think he was going to wait outside for me? My heart skipped a beat.

_Oh, knock it off,_ I thought.

I went to my left and glanced into the room that was now mine. Nothing had changed. I walked past it and made my way down the stairs. I could hear quiet talking but couldn't make out any of the words. That was fine. I didn't need to be eaves dropping on my room providers. I stopped for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, deciphering where the voices were coming from. I went to my left and then passed through the living room, coming to the kitchen.

**A/N : I hope you guys enjoy! Thank you for your lovely reviews! They make me warm and fuzzy inside. **


	9. Chapter 7

I'm the biggest failure ever. I'm sorry this took so long to get out, I put so much effort into trying to finish 'A New Heart' and then school started and I got carried away! Please forgive me?

Read, review and love. I'm here for your entertainment!

**Chapter 7 – Worn Down**

As I saw them, Carlisle and Esme turned around and spotted me. I smiled, timidly. They both greeted with me smiles, though Carlisle's looked stressed. Was it because of me?

"Do you need something, dear?" Esme asked. I glanced to her and bit on my lip, pressing my leg out behind me as I thought. I had found Carlisle, so now what was I going to say?

"I just... I wanted to say goodnight," I said, softly. "And thank you, so much."

"Do you need something to wear? I'm sure I could find something," Esme said, walking towards me. I glanced down at myself and realized tonight wouldn't be much fun if I had to sleep in jeans. I looked back up to her and nodded.

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble," I said. Again, that warm smile.

"It's not a problem at all. Follow me," she said, leading me out of the kitchen. I turned to see Carlisle and he nodded.

"Thank you again, Carlisle. Sleep well," I said. He laughed a little. For a second I wondered what was funny, then he spoke.

"You sleep well, dear Bella. We'll talk more in the morning," he said. I nodded and then followed Esme through the living room and up the stairs. As we reached the top, instead of going to the left, for my room, she led me right.

Her room was twice the size of mine, a california king in the center of the wall across from the door. Hers was much more furnished than mine. My eyes wandered over all the decorations as Esme dug through her walk in closet. After several minutes, she came back out with three outfits. One was a pair of sweat pants with a tank top. Another, a baggy long sleeved shirt with baggy pants. The last outfit was a pair of sleek black short shorts with a black cotton spaghetti strap top. I took to it quickly.

Esme smiled, a look of longing deep in her eyes.

"I used to wear that to sleep all the time," she said, running her hand over the shirt in my hand.

"Why did you stop?" I asked, holding it up to me a little. It would fit perfectly.

"Here, why don't you try this on in the closet? Make sure it fits," she said, urging more towards the room sized storage room. I smiled as she shut the door. I undressed and pulled the clothes on, feeling the cool air kiss my bare skin. It would be quite comfy to sleep under that large comforter on that queen bed. I made sure everything was covered before grabbing my clothes and opening up the door.

Esme was at her dresser, looking over a large perfume collection. She turned as I came out and a bright smile lit her face. She stepped toward me and looked as if she was going to touch me, but she thought better of it.

"You're a vision," she said, her voice airy and wishful. I could feel the blush covering my cheeks.

"Thank you," I whispered. She touched my shoulder gently, briefly, and then stepped away.

"You should get some sleep, dear. You know where your room is? And the bathroom?" she asked. I nodded and started toward the door. "We're all here if you need anything. Carlisle and I will be downstairs a while longer. Alice and Jasper are also on this floor, right across from you," she finished, closing her door behind us. I nodded, said my good nights and went to my room.

I stood outside as Esme made her way downstairs. I let out a soft breath, feeling more than comfortable now. I pushed open my door and went to the closet. I pulled my phone out of my pants before dropping the pile of rolled up clothes on the floor before the closet. Then I turned my attention to the phone.

I dreaded listening to the two new voicemails I had. I didn't want to remember that staying here, with the Cullens, wasn't just a little sleep over. It wasn't something that was supposed to be enjoyable. It was to keep me from grieving, or doing something stupid now that I was on my own for the night. My heart fluttered as I pressed the button for my voicemail.

"Bella, we heard what happened," Billy's voice said. I found myself, ridiculously, disappointed that he wasn't Jake. "We're both worried about you. Where are you staying? We have room here, if you need it." There was a pause, the sound of the phone being muffled. "Please, call us when you get this." And the line ended.

A look of confusion had spread across my face. The pause, the muffled voice. What had Billy been doing? I replayed the message several times before I could piece together the fragments. "No, I can't, dad," Jake had said, after Billy had probably tried to hand the phone to him. Jake had been refusing the phone. My heart fluttered in my chest. Was Jake upset? Maybe that I hadn't called him back yet?

I let out a breath and looked around the room, catching my reflection again in the mirror. I was a miserable mess. Right now, all I wanted was my best friend. I needed to talk to him.

So I closed out of my voicemail and opened up my last missed call.

The phone didn't have a chance to ring through the first time.

"Hello?" a worried, older voice asked. I suddenly felt very self conscious that I had Billy worrying. My voice shook as I spoke.

"Hey, Billy, it's Bella," I said, sitting on the edge of the Cullen's bed. I didn't know where I was supposed to be looking, what I was supposed to be doing. I felt so anxious.

"Bella, thank heaven. Where are you?" Billy asked. I gnawed on my lip for a moment, considering my answer. I knew the tribe didn't like the Cullens. The silly folklore story they had. But I wasn't going to straight out lie to Billy.

"I'm at the Cullens'. Dr. Cullen was dad's doctor and he offered me a place to stay," I said, sensing the hard stare Billy was giving whatever he was looking at. I felt as if I was in the room with him.

"Bella, you could have come here-"

"Truthfully, I didn't really think about where I was going to stay. Dr. Cullen offered me a ride and a place to stay before I'd given it much thought," I replied, getting up and beginning to pace. I could tell he was slightly flustered.

"Well, we'll come get you now. You can stay with us," Billy said, but I was already shaking my head.

"I'm just going to stay here. I'm ready for bed and I'm just going to sleep now. I promise, I'll be fine," I said. There was a pause. I'm sure Billy was trying to come up with another excuse to come get me. Before he could say anything more, I continued on. "Is Jake there? I'd really like to talk to him," I said, my voice breaking a little. I swallowed back the sadness.

"Give me a second," he said. I heard the phone become muffled and strained to listen. This wasn't a replayable message this time.

"_(muffled)-it's Bella, she needs you-(muffled)"_

"_Dad, I (muffled) how to do this. (muffled) can't talk to her-"_

"_Jacob, she's your (muffled). Comfort her." _

There was silence for a moment. It was so hard to make out the conversation. I didn't know if I should be upset or thankful when there was a scuffle and the sound of a voice being cleared.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Jake... I'm sorry I didn't call back, it's just been-"

"Don't apologize, Bella... God, please don't apologize. I didn't know what had happened, and now-... I don't-" his voice broke several times and it occurred to me then: I wasn't the only one who'd lost Charlie. I wasn't the only one suffering this painful loss.

"Oh, Jake..." I whispered, lowering myself to the edge of the bed again and putting my head in my hand. I had no words. Just as I was sure he had no words to say back to me. Hearing his voice made me want to curl up in a ball and just suffer. It made me want to cave in on myself and experience my dad's death to the fullest extent. My dad shouldn't be alone, wherever someone went after they died.

"Please, Bella... Come stay with us. You can stay with us-" he started but I stopped him, feeling the tears threatening me again.

"I can't, Jake, I can't. The Cullens were nice to offer me a room and I don't want to hurt their feelings-"

"What about your feelings? What about us? We can help you, we can stay up with you, we can talk..." Jake said. I felt my heart yearning for what he was offering. But also, I was cringing away from it. Letting grief swallow me whole? Spreading sorrow between Billy and Jacob, the akward silences...

Part of me just wanted to stay in my room all night, where no one could see me, hear me, feel sorry for me. I didn't want pity. I didn't want to be in a group of mourners. But most of all, and this took a moment to realize, I didn't want to see Jake in pain. Even the thought of it was making my throat close up so I could barely answer him.

"I'm so sorry... I just need some time alone," I said, shutting my eyes and letting the tears finally flood from the corner of my eye. It was a huge relief, not having to hold back the tears. I reached my hand up and wiped it away gently, hoping my best friend wouldn't take my refusal the wrong way.

There was a small pause, another clearing of his voice and he spoke again.

"I understand... I just miss you already," he said. I smiled weakly, briefly recalling our first conversation on the phone. Remembered the intense longing I had to see him, all the time. And then it hit me that I was also afraid of where this could go... Where Jake and I's relationship was heading.

"I miss you too... I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow, ok? I promise," I said, my voice coming out stronger than I felt.

"Call me if you need anything. And be safe, Bella," Jake said, warming my heart. I nodded and then said goodbye. I flipped my cell phone shut and set it beside me on the bed, letting out a deep breath. Another glance in the mirror revealed that I needed to dry my eyes and calm down. I spent several minutes doing so.

I was out of it. There was no other way to explain it. I couldn't comprehend much, I spaced out, just wondering what I was doing. What the point of all of this was. My thoughts drifted to happier moments of my life. Moments that included Jacob, the beach, laughing, sports, my mom, school.

Then more dreadful thoughts. Of my dad, of darkness, divorce, depression and hopelessness. How would I ever be able to return to a normal life? Go to school? It all seemed so unimportant...

It was several more minutes before something caught my attention.

Music. It was drifting down the hallway, very lightly. It was familiar, warm. Uplifting. I stood from the bed and poked my head out of the room, searching for the source.

I found it in a door cracked open at the end of the hallway. I bit on my lip and glanced at my room.

Then I tip toed down the hallway.

I came to the door and tried to peak in, but I couldn't see anything through the sliver. So I stood outside the door and listened to the music drift through to me. Debussy was playing. I let my heart soar with the music. It reminded me of everything familiar. Everything I'd known before Forks.

My mother's face floated to mind. Her dusting the top of the entertainment center as the music drifted around the house. I thought of all the time I'd spent with her. It led me to remembering how little I'd spent with my dad. Tears welled in my eyes. Why had I wasted so much time?...

The door opened quickly and I jumped, nearly falling over. Edward's hand reached out and pulled me upright.

"Snooping, are we?" he asked. I looked up to him. I must have still looked upset, on the verge of tears, as his expression of playful joking quickly changed to a sullen surprise. "Are you alright?" he asked. I forced a smile and nodded. My eyes helped to flutter away the tears as I pulled myself upright and out of his hold.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, trying to calm my heartbeat. "Just wasn't thinking. I must have wandered down the hallway, coming back from Esme's room," I finished. Wow. That was a simple lie. And it came effortlessly. His eyes glanced over my body and I immediately remembered what I was wearing and felt naked. I wanted to cover myself with my arms, but decided that would only draw more attention to my lack of clothing. No one in Forks had ever seen me with such little clothing. It had been too cold. I bit on my lip.

"Esme gave you something to wear?" he asked, stepping back a little. He accidentally bumped the door, though I don't know if it was any accident. More light filtered through the hallway. I was blushing a fierce beat red, I could feel it.

"Yeah," I said, quietly. He smiled. Maybe the first real smile I'd ever seen on him. I wish I could keep it there...

"It looks nice," he said. My blush grew warmer. I tried to grasp at any kind of different conversation. When I found nothing. I offered a shaky smile.

"Goodnight," I said, turning to tuck tail and run.

"Was the music too loud?" he asked, catching me. I stopped and took in a short breath. Then I turned and smiled a little.

"No, not at all. It just caught my ear... Claire de Lune?" I asked, taking a step closer to him. His eyebrow went up.

"You know Debussy?" he asked. I shrugged softly.

"Blame my mother," I said softly, looking away. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him look back into his room and then look back at me.

"I'm not doing anything... Would you like to come in?" he asked. My head popped up and I eyed him. Was this the same man that had seemed to regret saving me twice? The same man that had shunned me since the very beginning? I didn't know if I could believe it. I bit on my lip as I watched him. He smiled a little, something behind his eyes seeming to break.

"I won't bite," he said, offering his hand out. I took in a soft breath and felt like something was hanging in the balance of my decision.

**A/N: Oh dear. And here is where it all begins, folks. You know me. I make Jake and Bella worth it by first making you suffer through Bella and Edward. Mwahahahaha.**

**I don't know when I'll get the next chapter up, but I'm hoping soon. Don't get your hopes up, but I hope it will be up by... September 18****th****. **

**Reviews may inspire me!**


	10. Chapter 8

**Please please please give me inspiration to write! I'm still so excited about this story but I'm dying inside! I need a muse!**

**Song for this chapter : Teddy ****Geiger - ****For You I Will (Confidence)**

Chapter 8 - Getting to Know Her

Edward's POV

She looked miserable. My dearest Bella was in pain and I felt there was nothing I could do to help her. I couldn't save her from the pain of a loved one's death. I couldn't read her mind, granted, but I could somehow sense her pain. She and I were connected, it felt like.

She was hiding her pain well though. One second she was on the verge of tears, the next she was half smiling in that way that I adored. I wanted to make her smile completely though. When would I see her joy? Hear her laugh? I wanted to tonight. So I offered my hand, hoping she'd take me up on my offer.

"I won't bite," I said, praying I was right. It had been miserable being in the same classroom with her. Now I had to hold back from taking her life in my own house. Everywhere I went throughout my home, I could smell her. Now I knew what it was like to be Jasper at school.

She looked apprehensive, but she finally put her hand in mine and I stepped back to allow her into my room. Several feelings ran through me all at the same time. How happy I was that she had accepted to spend time with me. How fearful I was that I would bite her. How anxious, wondering what we would talk about.

But it turns out it was easy to talk to Bella. Extremely easy. I'd never had a better time getting to know someone. I had offered her the opportunity to sit on the bed and she refused. At first. We both sat on the floor, talking about homework, books, Arizona, Alaska. We talked about sports and swimming (basically the only form of movement she liked doing because she was so clumsy, she told me). Then there were animals, the kids at school (we both went on a little too much talking about Newton), my family (she moved to sit comfortably on the bed at this point).

Several times we'd gotten tenderizingly close to the subject of Charlie. Each time, she completely veered off in another direction. I didn't ask her to talk about it. It had been several hours since he'd died. Who needed to talk about death and tragedy so soon? No, I would not push her.

It seemed as if there was never a lull in the conversation and eventually I got up to change the cd again. We'd gone through four of them. When I turned around, ready to continue speaking, I found her head placed delicately on her arm and her eyes pressed shut. A second longer of watching her, I found her breathing was level and she was asleep.

I'd never been more torn apart in that moment. Her neck was exposed, her hair pulled back over one shoulder. But many more things ran through me than just hunger. I was jealous, mostly. How easy it was for her to just fall asleep, slip into a land of dreams and peace. I was happy though, that she was able to fall into that place, a place she so desperately needed right now. Hopefully her dreams wouldn't become nightmares.

I went over to the bed and kneeled at her side. My hand shook as I reached forward and slid my fingertips through the length of her hair. It was like silk, so soft. Her heat radiated off of her and I thought it warmed me for a moment. All I desired was to lift the covers and lay right beside her, to hold her in my embrace.

Something cold went through my chest and I had to breathe past it. That could never happen. I could never be with Bella. I was entertaining fantasies and if I wasn't careful, there was a chance they could consume me. I pulled my hand away from her warm, tantalizing skin at the base of her neck and glanced at the clock.

It was already three in the morning. We had been talking for nearly four hours. I tried not to but my gaze returned back to Bella and, eventually, so did my hand. I was so preoccupied running my fingertips through her hair that I didn't hear Esme's thoughts as she approached. A creak of my door and her voice was what alerted me.

"Bella- oh," she started, lowering her voice once she saw us. My hand had immediately pulled away from Bella as I turned around to see Esme, her head poked just a little into the doorway. I gave a weak smile and got to my feet to face her.

"We were talking, listening to music... And then she fell asleep," I said, glancing at her once more.

"How envious," Esme said. I turned to look at her and saw her half smiling. I let out a small breath. How reassuring it was to have someone else who felt how I did. To envy someone who could do something as simple as sleep. I gave her a thankful smile.

"When I took her to our room, to find her something to wear, and she came back out with that... It was odd, to say the least. I used to wear that years ago, when I still entertained the idea that we could pretend to sleep. Now it's just more simple to walk around in sweats," Esme said, her voice barely audible even to me.

There was a bit of silence and both of our gazes had made their ways to Bella. How bitter sweet it was to stand here and watch her. A sweet torture, of some sort.

"Put something over yourself so she doesn't get cold when you take her to her room," Esme's voice broke the silence.

"Hm?" I asked, turning to look at her. She gave me a knowing smile.

"She should be sleeping in her room," she said and I gave a small smile. I heard the underlying warning in her voice. Or perhaps I read her mind. It was so hard to keep the voices out.

_What if you couldn't control yourself while Bella was sleeping and no one else was around?..._

I gave a short nod and Esme turned away, leaving the door open behind her.

As soon as Esme left, I suddenly could concentrate even more on Bella's scent. My breath caught in my throat as I turned around to see her. Had she always smelled this strongly? Or was it just my vampire instincts kicking in after there was no one to keep Bella safe? No one would be able to stop me right now, if I just walked over...

I went over to her and found my hand drifting out to stroke over the side of her throat. My mouth was open, my teeth hurting, begging for me to give in. Even though I didn't have to breathe, I was. All the more to sense her, I heard my inner demon saying.

I pulled away and turned around immediately.

_It will start out as sensing, but then it will lead to smelling her, breathing her in, drinking her in. I'll be drowning in everything that is Bella._

I closed the door to my closet behind me, locking myself inside. I began browsing for a long sleeved shirt. The girl was tempting my soulless body... Everything about her begged me to take her as mine. All I wanted to do now was sink my teeth into her, take her life. What kind of person was I?

I closed my eyes, trying to clear my thoughts as I pulled a sweatshirt off a hangar and pulled it to my chest. Yes, Bella smelled incredible. She was irresistible, every part of her. Her blood called me, yes.

I opened my eyes and yanked the sweatshirt on over my head, pulling it down more roughly than needed.

But all those things didn't mean that I had to give in.

I let out a breath and then opened the closet door, shutting it behind me louder than I should have. The echoing sound made Bella shift in her sleep. I held my breath, hoping I hadn't woken her. I was frozen, like a deer in headlights. She turned over, laying on her back... yet not laying on her back.

She was a walking, seductive, temptress.

Both her shoulders touched the bed, causing her to lay on her back. But her legs were still turned as if she were laying on her side. Her shorts had ridden up. Her legs, those long, tempting, gorgeous, mile high legs, they went on and on... I swallowed, closing the distance between me and the bed.

I reached down and pushed a strand of hair off her face. The way she was laying... It begged me to take her. What was this girl? Some walking paradox for living? At every turn, she was putting herself in danger. Cars, rapists, boys, sidewalks, AIR... And now she was sleeping in a vampire's home. Not just one vampire. Seven.

I didn't know how much longer I could deny her...

A single thought raced through my head in that moment.

_Tomorrow morning, she'll be gone. After that, the only time I'll see her is at school._

It was enough to calm me. Somewhat.

I leaned down and slid my arms neatly under her weight and lifted her as if she were a feather into my arms. As I stood upright, her scent wafted towards me and I caught myself, stopping my breath.

Within the second, I was out of my room and into hers. Supernatural speed came in handy in this situation. I felt as if I was frozen again. My mind was battling, my inner demon begging to win the war.

I pulled her body close to me, appreciating her warmth. I let myself take in one breath of her-

And then I laid her down in the bed, as gently as was possible. She shifted once more, but apparently she was a heavy sleeper. I lifted her again just slightly so that I could pull the comforter from under her. I brought it over her body and then tucked it in around her, watching her curl up into the warmth.

And then I sat down beside her and watched her. Like the stalker I was. The feelings, the emotions came back to me in that moment. When I had saved Bella from the creepers down that alley way in Port Angeles... I had been stalking her, there was no other word for it. Sitting in her room some nights, watching her sleep? Yeah. A stalker.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

I leaned back against the headboard of her bed and closed my eyes, bringing my hand up to wipe at my eyes, at my face in general. I let out a deep breath and then shook my head. What I was feeling for Bella wasn't normal. Sure, I'd gotten the occasional urge to feed on a human girl before. I'd even had the urge to sleep with them.

But what I felt with Bella... What I wanted to do to her. It was all wrong.

Everything about me was wrong.

Everything about her was right.

I let my hand fall down to my side and opened my eyes so I could look at her.

_WHY_ did she keep finding her dare devil way back to me? Why was she putting herself in this sort of danger?

I obviously wasn't going to get my answer from her. I wasn't going to come up with it on my own. There was only one person I went to when I couldn't perceive an answer to something.

I got to my feet and looked at the door before I turned back to Bella. I leaned over her and brushed another strand of hair away. Before I knew what I was doing, I had my frigid lips pressed to Bella's forehead.

Some light sort of electrical current flowed from her living, lovely, thriving skin and connected with my dead, wasting lips. It made me jerk back. My hand went up to touch my lips. This was something I'd only read about in Alice's ridiculous fantasy romance novels. This didn't exist, this electrical current of attraction. I swallowed and backed out of her room, shutting off the bedroom light and closing her door.

When I knocked at Carlisle's study, it took him a moment before he answered.

"Come in," his voice spoke, quiet and, barely audible, stressed. I briefly closed my eyes before I opened the door and stepped inside. I shut it behind me as he looked up to see who had interrupted him. He gave me a slight, crooked smile. It was a smile that I'd only seen once before. A smile that cried 'I don't know what I'm doing, but this has to be the right thing.'

I walked forward into the room and he let his hand move to indicate I could sit if I wanted. I didn't know if I could have this conversation sitting down. Every muscle inside me was tense.

"Carlisle, she shouldn't be here," I whispered as I paced before him. I couldn't bring my eyes to look at him.

"Have you hurt her?" I heard him ask, nearly on top of my comment. My head shot up.

"No!" I cried. He seemed to relax after that, leaning back in his chair. I let out a breath and ran my hand through my hair. "I could have... I was so close. You don't understand what she smells like to me, how she tempts me-"

"I understand perfectly. Edward, you're my son. You have excellent control. I knew you could do this. If you couldn't do it for yourself, for your own guilt, you'd do it for her. She just lost her father. She needs someone right now," he said. I stopped pacing for a moment, looking out the window to his left. My hand was at the nape of my neck, working nervously.

There was a silence that dragged on for what felt like ages. Ages, to a vampire. That was a joke.

"... I don't know how to live without her. But I can't live _with_ her. How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to be selfless and put her best interest before this ache that's begging me to be with her, all day, every day? How am I, Edward Cullen, supposed to win this battle?" I asked, finally taking the seat he had previously offered.

I watched Carlisle, feeling like I was a monster. It was the only thought that ran through my head as he slowly got out of his chair and walked around the desk. I watched him, not letting him leave my sight. He paced a little beside the desk, as if he were searching for an answer. He didn't have one then? I really was fucked...

He faced me then, turning his whole body to me and crossing his arms over his stomach.

"Edward, you've found your singer. The one who's blood calls to you. But life... It doesn't end after this. I had a singer. Before I met you, before I even knew about the Volturi, there was a girl. I had tried to stay away from her. For so long, I stayed my distance, I watched her. I cared for her, protected her. For nearly 20 years, I wove in and out of her life. I went where she did, I moved whenever she did. Eventually, I followed her in the shadows, because she had mentioned that I hadn't looked a day older than the first she met me. Their was suspicion in her eyes. I couldn't let her find out what I was," he said, his smile very weak. He brought one of his arms out of its crossed position and waved it through the air, as if he had just cast an anchor on a fishing line.

"So I waited and watched her. She was in her 50's, a ripe age at that time... She had a husband, children... And it hurt so much to watch her have that life, knowing I couldn't be a part of it," I'd never seen Carlisle so bitter, so brooding. He was hurting as he recounted this, I could tell.

"But it had been better than when she died. I won't lie to you, no, it was a horrible time. Miserable. I wanted to die more than ever after that. More than that first night I had found out I had turned into a vampire... But I remembered her smile, her laughter, her hope. I went on, living for her memory. After that, after being with the Volturi, finally coming to my place at a hospital, every life I saved, I thought of her," he was smiling again now, looking me straight in the eye. I couldn't look away, not even if I tried.

"She made me a better person. Or, whatever you would call us. She made me want to be perfect, it was as if she was still walking around me, watching me do good," he said. He moved his other arm from its crossed position now and gave a half hearted shrug. He made his way over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing firmly.

"Edward, don't take Bella for granted. Be there for her while you can, while you CAN still be with her. Because one of my biggest regrets was that I hadn't given myself a chance with Chloe..." he said, his voice barely above a whisper. I gave him a moment, knowing it would be insensitive to badger him with my only question so soon after he finished.

He gave me a small smile as I looked up at him and nodded, as if knowing I wanted to ask something.

"Carlisle, what you said... It all sounds so horrible. How can I endure that? I'm not as good as you, I'm not as strong-"

"Edward, think of Bella..." he said. I gave him a stubborn look and he raised an eyebrow. "Honestly, think of her right now," he said. I sighed and let out a breath, letting my thoughts drift to her.

"Now, imagine her in ten years, you still in her life. Whether as a lover or a friend," he said. I fast forwarded time, imagining Bella as he said. I saw us walking along the cloud covered beach, her hand in mine. I tried to bat away the thoughts, but they wouldn't stop. He'd opened a flood gate.

Flashes of Bella on top of me, her chest bare. Under me, her face pressed with pleasure. In the shower, not knowing I was undressing to join her. Her smile as she sat in a cozy chair in front of a fireplace, her feet tucked neatly beneath her...

"Now, do you think she'd want you to die?" Carlisle's voice asked. My eyes popped open and I stared directly up at him. I was dumb struck.

"What?" I asked, sounding just as dumb as I felt. He chuckled a little.

"Do you honestly think that Bella would want any harm to come to you? That she'd want you to stop existing, to stop searching for happiness, just because she moved on?" he asked. Something in my chest fell, slowly, weighing me down.

"You'll live for her, son. She's already in your life, you've already become attached. Now the only difference is if you're going to make the most out of the time you have," he said. I lowered my gaze, letting my thoughts drift over his words. Without trying, his thoughts floated to me, flooding my mind.

_And eventually, if you don't turn Bella, you'll make my same mistake... You'll get tired of being lonely, some occurrence will happen and you'll see someone dying, like I saw my Esme... You won't be able to stand it any more and you'll make a rash decision. But your life will be better because of it. _

I nodded quietly, listening to his thoughts. So those were my choices then?... Love Bella, spend time with her and then leave her to die when it would expose me... Wait for another girl to come along and change _her_? Or let Bella become what Alice already saw her as. What I myself has seen her as by looking into Alice's mind... A vampire, like us.

"Just give it some thought. You have plenty of time," he said, giving my shoulder another squeeze before he pulled his hand away and went back to his seat. I took my leave, saying a heavy goodnight to my, for all intents and purposes, father.

As I came to the top of the stairs and peered in to check on Bella, I decided there was a reason I'd gone to him. He had answered my question. It hadn't been the answers I wanted, but he had given me my options.

He had given me a choice.

And I had made my decision.

**A/N : God this was a long chapter, don't you think? I know my Edward haters are out there, and you probably didn't enjoy this chapter all too much, but sadly, I don't do "Bella runs straight into Jacob's arms" stories. This story will be a lot of Bella and Edward, and to compensate, I'll give you great, wonderful, yummy, delicious Jacob-ness. Lots of spurts of it. **

**Review? I'm kind of losing hope in this story, but I really want to continue it. School is just getting me down and giving me some writers block. Your reviews give me hope, love and happiness!**


	11. Chapter 9

**This update came fast, huh?**

**You guys are incredible. Each review I got on the last chapter inspired me to get my act together and perform for my readers! Well, Jacob was yelling at me too, saying that he wanted to see Bella. So I just have to do what he wants, right?**

Chapter 9 – Relieve Me

Chapter song – The Only Exception by Paramore

Bella's POV

"_Bella, please, I'm worried about you... I need you to come to La Push, I can't protect you here," Jake said, pulling on my arm. He was so warm, so intense. He turned to look at me and I nearly fell backwards. His beauty was astounding. He was gorgeous. I felt so light hearted... What had he been talking about?_

_I blinked._

"_Protect me from what, Jake?" I asked, stepping closer to him. He removed his gaze from me, looking at a point over my shoulder. He started backing away, releasing my arm. I turned around but saw nothing in the forest around us. What was he looking at?_

"_Jacob, protect me from what?" I cried, turning back to him. He was still backing away, but he was much farther from me now. Fear started making my throat close up. I reached out for him, started running towards him..._

_But I might as well have been running backwards. He was being taken further away from me, my heart was racing. I needed to reach Jake. He would save me. I needed to be saved-_

_Saved from what? I suddenly stopped, trying to remember where this had all started. My hand dropped to my side as I let out a breath, tracing my thoughts in circles. A stick cracked behind me and I whipped around, watching someone so beautiful, so pale, so the complete opposite of Jake walking towards me. _

"_Bella, you shouldn't be out here, it's dangerous. Come back inside," Edward said, his hand out stretched. I glanced back to where... Who had been there, just moments ago? Someone dark, friendly... He had wanted to protect me._

_My gaze lifted to Edward's. I felt so confused, so lost. He was here for me. He would protect me. I glanced back at the spot the first boy had been before placing my hand in Edwards. _

_I got shocked and tried to yank my hand back but Edward's had clamped down on mine. Hard. I couldn't move, even as I brought my other hand to try and pry him off of mine. _

"_No, let me go! Edward, please!" I cried, twisting and yanking on my wrist. He laughed. He fucking laughed, a crooked, frightening, earth shattering laugh. _

_Then he pounced on me._

"No!" I cried, bolting upright in my bed. I was breathing heavy, my heart moving at a pace that would surely cause me a heart attack. I placed a hand over my tap dancing heart as I looked around, inspecting my surroundings, trying to calm myself.

I tried to recall how I'd gotten here, where I was exactly. I saw my rolled up clothes by the closet and remembered I was in the room the Cullen's had offered me. I tried to remember how I'd gotten here.

I'd been in Edward's room... I had been talking to him. He had been so relaxed, letting down all his walls. We had talked about everything and nothing. There was always music, always smiling. He had been exactly what I'd needed. He had taken my mind off of all my problems.

I let out a deep breath as my heart finally slowed to a reasonable beat and then I tried to recall the dream I'd had. I tried to remember anything more than two figures asking to let them protect me. I sighed and shook my head as I pushed the blankets off of me. Dreams were definitely not high on my list of priorities right now.

What was?

A toothbrush and the bathroom.

I stepped out of my room and made my way to the bathroom on tip toes, unable to help myself from glancing at Edward's door. It was cracked open and I smiled as I shut the bathroom door behind me.

After using the bathroom, I stepped up to the mirror and attempted to fix my disarrayed hair. After running my hands through it a few time, I found a bottle of tooth paste and put some on my finger as a make shift tooth brush.

After 'brushing my teeth,' or as close as I would come to it, I washed my face and then left the room. I peered down the hallway at Edward's room again, but now the door was shut. I pouted a little. A glance towards Esme's room told me she was unavailable also. My thoughts drifted to Esme. Esme connected to mother. Mother, to my mother.

Shit.

Renee.

I bolted towards my room and frantically searched for my phone. When I found it, I flipped it open and saw I had several missed calls. I cringed. It was already nine in the morning. She had gotten into town three hours ago.

I called her back, my heart racing just as fast as when I had woken up.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" I was greeted with, and had to pull the phone away from my ear a little. I sighed and shut my eyes. I had screwed up.

"Mom, I'm sorry-"

"I've been here for two hours! You're lucky my flight had been delayed, because I was about to go to the police right now!" she cried, frantically.

"I'm sorry, mom. I got here last night and just passed out. I was so tired," I lied, knowing it was better than her finding out I had stayed up all night talking to a boy. I turned around as I spoke and saw Carlisle standing in the door. I hadn't expected to see him there and I jumped and dropped my phone.

God, why did everyone in this family lurk around so quietly?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you," Carlisle said, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth. I smiled a little back and gave a small shrug as I reached down to grab the phone my mother was still ranting through. "Would you like me to talk to your mother?" he asked, nodding towards the phone in my hand.

A flood of relief swept through me and I nodded gratefully.

"Yes, please," I said to him before pulling the phone back to my ear and interrupting my mother, "Hey mom, Dr. Cullen wants to talk to you."

I pulled the phone away before she had chance to argue and handed him the phone. He gave me a sweet smile and put his hand over the phone.

"The others should be downstairs, if you'd like to go talk to them. I'll take this in my room," he said, indicating the phone. I nodded and watched him disappear into his and Esme's room, saying "Yes, this is Dr. Cullen, I was your husband's attending doctor-"

I let out a small breath and turned to make my way down the stairs, slowly. I bit on my lip as my hand trailed down the rail for the stairs. I wonder how Renee would react... I had told her I was going home with a doctor. Not specifically the doctor who had been taking care of my-

I cleared my thoughts as I came to the last step. I stopped to listen where the voices were coming from and followed the voices to the kitchen. When I rounded the corner, I found Esme, Alice and Edward. Alice and Edward were sitting at the island on the bar stools and Esme was leaning against the counter. They all looked deep into a conversation but as Esme saw me, she smiled brightly and pushed away from the counter.

"Bella, darling, good morning," she said, reaching her hand out to rest on my shoulder and guide me to an empty bar stool. I climbed onto it and settled myself before looking up and seeing Alice's bright and cheery face and Edward. My breath caught a little in my chest as I saw him. His beauty was just as divine as ever. He smiled a little, that little cocky grin I loved so much, but it didn't reach his eyes. Something had happened. Did he not get any sleep last night?

"Good morning, thank you, Esme. How was your guys night?" I asked, ripping my gaze away from Edward so it didn't look like I was asking him in particular. Though his answer was the one I was looking forward to most.

"Perfect," Esme said, cheerfully as she made her way to the fridge.

"Slept like a baby," Alice said right after her. My gaze rested on Edward as he looked concerned with something on the counter. His smile had faltered a little.

"It was fine, how about your night, Bella? Did you sleep well?" he asked, finally looking up at me on his last word. God, how was he doing this to me? Just one glance from him made my knees weak. It was like the first day of school all over again, when I had stared at him across the cafeteria.

"I slept fine," I said, deciding I didn't need to go into detail about whatever dream had worked my heart rate up. I couldn't even remember it. He moved his gaze back down to the counter, but not before I caught a flicker of something go through his eyes. It almost looked like pain.

"Bella, if you get the chance, do you want to go for a walk today? I know some amazing places around our home, I'm sure you'd love them," Alice's bright and chipper voice interrupted my thoughts. My eyes flickered to hers and I couldn't help but catch on to her excitement. Why was this girl so bubbly? And worse, why did it catch on to me?

"That sounds like fun, Alice, I'd love to. But I think my mom is going to want to me home right away. She wasn't too happy this morning," I said, biting back the groan in my voice.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, dear. Carlisle has a way with people. Or rather, a way with rationality. Your mother will understand," Esme said, still standing by the fridge. She gave me another warm smile before asking if I'd like anything to drink and then listing off the contents of the fridge.

After she'd poured me a glass of orange juice, I fell into the conversation Alice and Edward were having about musical instruments. Guitars and pianos were the main focus of their attention.

A click on the floor brought my attention to Carlisle, who had just entered the kitchen. He walked over to me, holding my phone out and I took it.

"Everything's taken care of. Bella, we'll be meeting her at the hospital at noon. She said she has some things to take care of that you needn't witness," he said. I gave a small nod, knowing that she had probably gone to take care of a lot of things for Charlie. I felt my throat constrict and immediately changed my course of thoughts. Apparently Charlie was a no-no topic.

"Great! This means I can take Bella on a walk!" Alice said, clapping her hands together. Alice was already on her feet, ready to rush and grab me.

"Hold on, dear! She's not a dog! She did just wake up, she might be hungry," Esme said and Alice nearly pouted. "Would you like some breakfast, Bella? We've already eaten, but I can whip something up if you'd like," Esme said, her smile so genuine, so warm. I couldn't deny her, even if I wasn't hungry.

But it turns out I was famished.

She had made me an omelet, with eggs, green onions, bell peppers and bacon bits embedded in it. Nothing distracted me from it's wonderful taste. Not even Alice's consistent tapping as she waited for me to finish.

"God, that was delicious, Esme. Thank you so much," I said, getting up to take the plate and wash it. She swooped in before me and smiled, graciously.

"It was an honor, Bella. Be careful with her, Alice," she said. Before I knew it, I was being tugged off the chair. I turned to say something to Edward, a goodbye of some sort, but he was already gone. My eyebrows creased a little. He had left rather quickly. Had he disappeared before I'd finished eating?

Alice dragged me upstairs and urged me to hurry and change into my clothes. I smiled as I heard her bouncing and talking outside my door. Eventually, we were on our way back outside.

"You're going to absolutely love it, Bella, I promise. Don't worry, there's nothing scary out here either. We're perfectly safe," Alice's sing song voice instantly wiped away any and all of my worries.

And she was right. I did love the nature walk with Alice. It was like we were best friends from years ago and we were just catching up on old times. She made most of the conversation, which I was grateful for. I don't think I could ever keep up an interesting conversation.

But that's not to say I didn't talk either. What was it with this family and making me feel so comfortable? It was so easy to talk to Carlisle when he'd come to me last night. Edward had been so peaceful, such a nice relief to talk to. And Alice just acted like I had never not been a part of the family.

She told me about how much she loved Forks, compared to Alaska. I learned a lot from her, about herself, her family, her love life (yes, I blushed here), and even little facts about animals and trees that she decided to mention. Bless her soul, she completely took my mind off my dad and my impending meeting with my mother.

"We can head back now, it's not too far," Alice said, smiling as she grabbed my hand and led me slowly through the brush at our feet.

"Alice?" I asked, not knowing really what was planning on coming out of my mouth. I had questions though. And now that I was closer to the family-

"Yes?" she asked, her voice becoming less musical and more anxious. Did she know what I was going to ask, even before I did?

"Edward... The time he saved me from Tyler's van in the parking lot at school... How?" I asked. Her pace seemed to slow and she fell beside me instead of leading me. She wouldn't look at me. Me, on the other hand, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Her eyes looked slightly worried, but still care free. It was as if she had a deep dark secret, but she wouldn't mind telling me.

"When the time is right, Bella... You'll learn everything about us," she said, simply. Somehow, that answer was enough for me. It meant that the Cullen's were going to stick around. That they were going to keep giving me these carefree days, these hopeful smiles. That I would one day understand everything that I didn't want to understand now.

When we made it into the house, she turned, gave me a peck on the cheek and then darted off. I smiled a little, knowing that little Alice was the most intriguing of all the Cullens. Even Edward.

As I made my way to the kitchen, I saw Carlisle pulling away from Esme, his arms still wrapped gently around her waist. I almost backed out of the room, thinking that I'd interrupted a moment. But he turned to me quickly and smiled.

"Time for us to go, Bella," he said. Esme moved toward me and wrapped me in a hug I couldn't help but fall into.

"Yo, Bella-ella, we'll see you around," Emmett's voice boomed as he entered the kitchen, Rose trailing behind him. She gave me an odd look, one of mixed irritation and pity. I tried not to let it get to me.

"See you, Emmett. Say bye to every one else for me, ok?" I asked, only one other person on my mind at the time. Edward. I wanted to tell him good bye. But it would be weird for me to seek him out.

"No need! I ran upstairs to grab Jasper," Alice said, bursting back into the kitchen with her hundred-watt smile. Jasper gave a little wave, still looking cautious of me. Did I smell?

"We'll see you soon, Bella. It was nice to meet you," he said as Alice threw her arms around me and I hugged her back. I gave a little smile as she pulled away and then nodded to Carlisle.

**A/N : Alright guys, I got a question about Bella/Edward lemons. Will there be any? Well, that's really up to you guys. I'm a big fan of writing Bella/Edward lemons. Strike that, I'm a big fan of lemons period. I'd really like to put some smut in here between them. Not technically a full on lemon, because I think Jake deserves that great honor, but I think showing the awkwardness between Bella/Edward always makes for a better and greater Bella/Jacob lemon. **

**So what's your vote? Yay or nay on Bella/Edward lemon?**


	12. Chapter 10

**I just wanted to give a quick shout out to several of my reviewers. You guys are amazing, and you're why I keep writing. **

**Eblla, I'm glad I can help you with your writer's block! I want to read your stories, but you weren't signed in, so I couldn't get to profile. Yes, I'm fanfiction illiterate, so I really don't know better ways to find you.**

**My Untold Fairy – Tale : Dear, you are exquisite. I must say my ego is generally boosted with each of your reviews. You're the wind beneath my wings, as the saying goes. **

**Anniegirl27, your last review made me giggle for a while. Thank you for enjoying this story. **

**AmandaWilder, you're fantastic. Sdkjflkdjfglkdjflkgmghf. That's what I have to say. :)**

**And real quick shout outs to : GangstaSummoner, Twiligttina, Feebes, missyangel87, peaceful dragon rose, graciedoodle, djcandy, TeamJacoYeah, Goldeneyes and Purple Jelly C. I'm sorry if I missed any of you other wonderful reviewers, I'll get you the next time around. Plus, this author note is just a little too long already. I just figured you guys deserved your mentions. **

**By popular vote, there will be no BxE lemon. Jusssssst to let you know though, you guys aren't getting any smut for like another... 15 chapters. Maybe a little flirting, but you know. Jacob needs to go through all his transformation or whatever. **

**Enjoy the chapter. **

Chapter 10 – Seeing Renee

Chapter song – Maybe by Sick Puppies

Edward's POV

As Bella got up to take her dish to the sink, I took my chance to escape. I had sat through watching her eat, had suppressed my feelings while I sat there. All I wanted to do was beg her to tell me about her dream.

I had been in my room when I heard her. Damn vampire supernatural hearing. She had been tossing and turning, but eventually, she had cried out in her sleep.

"No, let me go! Edward, please!" she had cried. I had gotten up, went to my door. She was dreaming about me. About me holding her? About me keeping her to myself? God, I wish I could read her mind! Everything would have been so much more simple! I rested my head on the wall and then threw my fist against it, trying not to leave a hole there. I backed away as I heard her wake from her sleep, crying out "No!"

I had sat on the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands, leaning over. I stayed that way until I heard the bathroom door shut, then I shut my door and silently went down stairs to find Esme and Alice.

I had told them what I'd heard and they both tried to console me. But after the decision I'd made last night, Bella just confirmed that I'd made the right choice. I was going to stay away from her. As much as was possible, I was going to keep my distance from her.

When I told Alice and Esme this, they both looked at me like I was doomed. I had given them a look, but before I could say anything more, Esme had brought our attention to the fact that Bella was present.

And now I sat up in my room, listening to my family say their goodbyes. A minute later and I looked out the window, watching Carlisle help Bella into the car. Then she looked up at me. I closed my eyes as she waved, her hand so small, so fragile.

I turned away and shut the curtain, unable to handle looking at what I couldn't have.

Bella's POV

Carlisle and I headed out the front door and it shut behind us. He opened my car door for me and waited for me to get in before shutting it. As he walked around the car, I looked up at the Cullen house, hoping it wouldn't be long before I'd see it again. This was truly a place of happiness.

As Carlisle got into the car and started it, I looked up toward Edward's room and was surprised to see him staring out the window at me. I smiled a little and I made a small gesture, a wave, pressing my hand against the glass. Could he see me?

He turned away immediately, shutting the curtain behind him. Something like a rock fell to the pit of my stomach and made me nauseous. I let out a quiet breath and turned to sit normally in my seat as we left the house behind.

It was silent for about a minute. I knew Carlisle would be able to feel my depression, but I hoped he wouldn't say anything. But who was I kidding? This was a man who lived with Alice.

"Is there something wrong, Bella? You're quiet," Carlisle said, softly. The tender sound of his voice made me turn to look at him. At my movement, he glanced away from the road to look at me. His eyes were so warm, so sweet. I lowered my gaze, knowing this family was bad for the walls I had built around myself to keep me safe.

"Why does he seem to despise me, Carlisle? What did I do to him?" I asked, looking at the center console of the car.

"My dear Bella, he doesn't despise you," Carlisle said and I looked up at him. He was quiet, as if he were searching for what he could and couldn't tell me. I waited patiently, not knowing if I wanted the answer.

"Bella, Edward's always been a little cautious around girls. Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rose, me and Esme... He's looking for what we have," he said. He stopped again, trying to figure out how to word his response, I'm sure.

"He hasn't had much experience with girls, and I think the way you make him feel has him confused," Carlisle said finally, glancing over to look at me with a smile. I'm pretty sure I was red from forehead to collar bone.

"How I make him feel?" I asked, unsure of what he meant. Carlisle laughed lightly and shook his head.

"He likes you, Bella. He's just afraid of screwing up," Carlisle finished. Somehow, in his voice, he made it apparent he'd rather not continue this conversation. I sat quietly for a while, thinking about what he'd said.

Edward liked me? Somehow, I didn't think that was possible. When I'd first seen Edward, he was all I could think about. Yes, I'd imagined being with him. But to actually entertain the idea that he'd want to be with me, when he could have his choice out of the population of girls at school?... And he'd pick plain, ordinary, unsatisfying old me? It was an impossible fantasy.

I wouldn't go on with Carlisle about my insecurities though.

"Thank you for letting me stay the night with you, Dr. Cullen," I said. He glanced to the side, giving me a look and I laughed a little. "I mean, Carlisle. You really have a nice home," I said.

"Thank you, Bella. You're more than welcome to come over whenever you'd like. My family would be more than happy to have you," he said, his eyes staying on the road. How could someone be so beautiful? And how could they all be living under the same household? They were all beautiful, with flawless, pale skin, perfect, white teeth, tall, lean figures... I wish they'd adopt me and make me like them.

Before I knew it, we were pulling up in front of the hospital. I swallowed as Carlisle turned the car off and I blinked at the opening doors of the building.

It was finally time to face my mother. I wasn't afraid she would be mad at me, no. I was afraid of our reactions when we saw each other. I'd seen her months ago, yeah, but I missed my mother, more than anything. I missed her smiles. I missed her as a person.

And now, on top of what was going to be an emotional greeting because of distance, we would both have to confront the loss that we'd both been hit with. The thought made tears come to my eyes.

I hadn't realized Carlisle had gotten out of the car and was opening my door until his hand was offered to me. I swallowed and put my hand in his, letting him help me out of the car. As if there was no thought behind it, he shut the car door and then put a steady, cool arm around me and pulled me close.

He hugged me for what felt like ten minutes, but what could have only been a few seconds. After that, probably after sensing that I was completely ok with the comfort, he kept his arm around my shoulders and directed me into the hospital.

I subconsciously acknowledged that he was whispering soft condolences beneath his breath to me as we walked.

"I'm sorry there wasn't more I could do... We all can't wait to see you at the house again... Be strong, Bella... Everything will be ok," he'd said, among other things. It was ridiculous how comforting his words were. I was strong. Everything would be ok. They had to be. The world never stopped spinning, and I wouldn't let it throw me out of orbit.

So when we stepped into the hospital and he led me to the front desk, I was not expecting what happened. It all happened at once. Carlisle's arm slipped from around my shoulders, instantly taking away the safety blanket I had been wrapped in. I suddenly felt insecure, inadequate.

Then my mother bombarded me, throwing her arms around my shoulders and pulling me tight to her. I heard her sob right before I felt her tears fall onto my shoulder and soak my shirt. I was lost after that moment.

The tears I'd been holding at bay since the last time I'd cried with Esme suddenly flooded from me. I buried my nose into my mother's shoulder and clutched her, depending on her to keep me from sinking to the ground.

My father was gone. He was dead and I had gone to the Cullens'. I had let them lead me into a false sense of reality. I had let them keep me from all the pain that I knew would one day consume me. I couldn't blame them, no. I thanked them. They had kept this horrible pain away until my mother could help me sort through it.

We would make it through this. Carlisle's words floated back to me, as if he were whispering them in my ear.

"Be strong, Bella. Everything will be ok," I heard, closing my eyes to concentrate on the happier moments. My mother was here. I loved her. I loved Charlie, but there was nothing that could be done. The Cullens were here for me. Jacob and Billy, they were here for me. I had too many things going on to let my guilt, my hatred, my sadness consume me.

I opened my eyes and saw Carlisle standing behind my mother. I gave a weak smile and he nodded, solemnly. It was as if he were asking me if I'd remembered what he said. I recalled his words again. They would be my mantra.

After a few more minutes of my mother's embrace, we both finally pulled away. She reached forward and wiped a tear from my eyes with a half smile before putting her arm around me and turning to face Carlisle.

"Dr. Cullen, I'm Renee. Thank you for taking care of my Bella," she said, reaching her hand out. He stepped forward and shook her hand, smiling graciously.

"It wasn't a problem. I'm glad I had a place and family to offer her company. She's welcome there any time," he said, speaking to my mother but then glancing back to me at the end. I smiled and nodded.

"I have some things I need to check on here at the hospital and then I'll be heading home," he said, smiling at me, "I actually have the day off today. But if you need me, I should be here for a half hour or so. Anything at all, let me know," he said, talking more to my mother now. She gave a brief nod and then rested his hand on my shoulder.

"Remember Bella, be strong," he said. I couldn't help the smile that covered my face as he spoke. I wanted to say something along the lines of 'your family made that possible for me, thank you,' but nothing came out. He gave me a knowing smile though before he left.

"He seems like a nice man," my mother said, her voice sounding far away. I rested my head on her shoulder as she led me out the front doors.

"He and his family are extremely nice people. I wouldn't have made it through without them last night," I said. She was quiet as we walked to the car, the heavy loss hanging between us.

Alice's POV

As the car left the driveway, I glanced around before letting out a big huff. Jasper took a step back to allow me my rant as I darted for the stairs. Edward sure did have some explaining to do.

"God damn it, Edward, why weren't you there to say goodbye! You were the only one she REALLY wanted to see! What's wrong with you!" I cried, busting into his room. Jasper's hand gripped my shoulder and I felt him start to level out my emotions but I turned and stomped my foot.

"Jasper Hale, you keep out of my emotions! Edward deserves this!" I cried, feeling him let go of whatever attempt he was making to calm me. I whipped back around to face Edward and saw him leaning against the wall in his room, his arm above his head, his head against the wall. It was obvious he was upset but I was beyond that. I was furious.

We had made such a great attempt to welcome Bella to our home. He had even bonded with her last night! So why was he all of a sudden acting like this was the last time he would see her and it would be for the greater good? All because she had a dream in which she told him to let her go? It was nonsense and I wasn't standing for it.

"Alice, just leave me alone," Edward said and I moved toward him.

"I'm not leaving, Edward. What you're doing is wrong. I've already seen Bella become one of us, it's final, so get over yourself and just comfort her! We worked so hard to welcome her into our home and you're throwing it all away!" I cried, coming to stand right next to him.

"Alice, you don't understand a thing. Just get out of my room," he said, finally standing up to his full height and facing me. I scoffed. As if that was going to scare me off.

"Listen to me, Edward Cullen," I said, stabbing him in the chest with my forefinger. "If she has to deal with this, I want her to be able to come to us. If you make that not happen, if you keep her from coming over here, if you keep her from being my _friend_," I threatened, right in his face. I could feel his breath coming in bigger huffs, as if he wanted to attack me. I could feel Jaz getting anxious behind me.

I took a deep breath and took a step away from him, knowing threatening him wasn't going to work. The best way into Edward's heart was guilt. I attempted to look defeated.

"I won't do a damn thing... I'll just sit back and live life, knowing that Bella is miserable and that the only person capable of saving her walked out on her," I said. Any anger that had been inside him deflated, making him look about a foot tall. His shoulders caved over a little and made him look like he was being physically attacked.

I smiled inside, knowing that even if he didn't run to Bella right away, I had done my job and he would rethink his stupid decision to stay out of her life. He wouldn't be able to. The thought of Bella being miserable because of him would be something he couldn't live with.

With that, I turned on my heel and slipped out of his room, Jasper following and shutting the door behind us.

"You're a twisted pixy, Alice Cullen," Jasper said behind me. Even though he let out an exasperated sigh, I could hear the smile in his voice.

**A/N : I won't say who, but one or two of you really got under my skin with your reviews last chapter. Just reminding you that being thoughtful in your responses and not putting the writer in a bad mood is a smart move. Pissy reviewers and tactless words are what cause half the stories on fanfiction to be put on a permanent hiatus.**

**The other reason is lack of reviews! So review!**

**For those of you who DID want or did NOT mind seeing Bella and Edward together, I started another story on the side to get all my angsty lemons out my system, focus on BxE. If you're interested whatsoever, take a look and leave a review. It's called "All Is A Lie." And Edward is human in it.**


	13. Chapter 11

**Oh god. You guys… You seriously make me want to cry in joy with your reviews. You all are lovely people. I'm going to stop here before I gush on and on and cry or something. :P**

**You guys curious about what Jacob's up to? I am. And I know you are too. So here it is. I think you'll like this chapter…**

Chapter 11 – Resist

Jacob's POV

I rolled over in bed, feeling my drowsiness slowly start to lift. I needed it to. My dreams last night had been nothing but nightmares. I stretched across the length of my bed and felt my feet hanging over the edge. I sighed.

Since when did puberty mean out growing your bed? I rolled out of bed and went to my closet, searching for clothes to change into after I took a shower. As I made my way to the bathroom, I shouted down to my dad.

"Any word?" I asked, knowing he'd know what I was talking about. It's not like either of us had anything else on our minds besides Bella and Charlie.

"Nothing. We can try calling her cell phone in a few hours. It's still early," he said. I sighed and let out a breath. I don't know what was wrong with me. The moment my dad had told me she was staying with the Cullens, I had bristled. I didn't even HAVE a hatred for the Cullens, but something inside me reared its ugly head at the thought of her being in a house full of snobs.

"I'll be out in a while," I said and then shut the door to the bathroom. I started the water, hoping it would get blistering hot before I was ready to get in. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, then just stood in front of the mirror, watching myself. I glanced down to see that the muscles I had slowly been growing were getting even bigger. How was that possible? It's not like I worked out. Unless working on the Rabbit was working out.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Maybe my dad was slipping me steroids or something. At least I no longer looked like the young kid I had felt like when I first met Bella. I was growing, and growing fast. With that growing somehow came more maturity. Things that had always seemed so important were dying out. My affection for Bella was growing. My need to take care of my father, growing.

My need to stay away from Sam and his cult. Forever growing.

They scared the shit out of me. They lurked around, looking as if they were waiting for me decide to shave off all my hair and join them. Why were they so intrigued by me? Why was I their next victim? And worst of all, why was my dad urging me to go to him?

I shed the shorts I had worn to bed and jumped into the shower, feeling it heating my skin instantly.

My thoughts drifted back to Bella while I was in the shower, hoping she was ok. We should have been the ones comforting her. The Cullens barely knew her. I mean, I barely knew her too, but I was close to my dad and my dad was the closest person to Charlie. We could have helped her through all of this.

I stopped my thoughts, back tracking. I DID know Bella. Over the last month, we'd grown extremely close. I would consider myself her best friend. Quite possibly, she was mine. She didn't have much to compete with with Quil and Embry. I smiled a little.

I would find a way to see her today. Even if I had to drive (illegally, I might add) to the Cullens mansion and dig my way into their house, I would see her today.

Bella's POV

"Do you want something to eat, Bella?" my mom asked as she drove around the Forks streets. She didn't ask where to go. She probably still remembered very well from when she'd lived here.

"Sure, wherever you want," I said, quietly. I had sunk into the seat of the car, buckled my seatbelt and pulled my legs as close to my chest as I could get them. I wanted nothing more than to just cave in on myself and figure out how I was supposed to stay strong through all of this.

"Well, I need to stop at the diner... I need to talk to the people there, figure out what-... what happened," my mom said, taking in a deep breath. I glanced over at her and saw her eyes welling with tears. I couldn't handle any more crying. I don't think I had any left in me. I sat up, uncurling from my position and reaching over to my mother. I rested my hand on her arm and rubbed my thumb on her gently.

"Mom, it'll be ok... We'll make it through this," I said, trying to make my voice strong. I had always been the mother in this relationship. I had always taken care of her. It wasn't a bad thing. Now, I just saw it as a trade off. Last night, Esme had been the one comforting me. I smiled a little. What I wouldn't give to have her comforting me again, making me feel better. She was an incredible person.

So was my mother. Just in different ways.

As she parked in front of the diner, I could barely bring myself to look up at it. I let out a breath and then turned to look at Renee, who had turned the car off. She sat there, staring at the diner.

"This place has been here for so long... I haven't been here since I left," she whispered, gripping the steering wheel. I moved my hand up and rubbed her shoulder gently. She turned to look at me and smiled a little.

"There are too many memories in this place, Bells..." she said softly. I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. How would I ever look at a damn thing in this town and not think of Charlie. Everything was connected to him.

I changed my thought pattern then. I needed to think positive.

It was a good thing everything reminded me of Charlie. It meant that he was everywhere. I had great memories with him every where in this town. Everyone who knew him had been touched in a good way by him. We would all mourn his loss. But in the end, everyone would smile when they thought of him, saying what a great man he was.

Because he was a great man. And he deserved to be celebrated, not mourned. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if I could get the town to approve of a "Charlie Swan" day. I couldn't help a small giggle.

I thought my mother would think I was crazy. Instead, she smiled too. We were both insane, it seemed.

We both got out of the car and walked up to the diner, preparing ourselves. I didn't really know what to expect.

I should have known that everyone's eyes would have been on us. That there would have been a million condolences. That I would have felt like a circus animal in a glass cage, being watched. I kept a small, suffering smile on my face though, and took everyone's apologies in stride. My mom was even better at it than I was. Especially when everyone was happy that she had finally returned, reminding her of just how long she'd been gone.

Whenever it seemed like either of us was about to break down, we'd glance at the other. It was some sort of silent agreement we had. The more confident of the two of us would smile, giving the other the will to go on. We fed off each other, helping each other through this.

I couldn't be there though, when my mom asked questions about what had happened the day before. So I went to sit at a booth and waited for our food while she got the answers she needed. After a few minutes, the food came and I put all my attention into eating that food. I don't know what had gotten into me lately. Food tasted all the sweeter. I told myself I was appreciating life for two people. I would enjoy everything I could for Charlie.

When my mom joined us, she smiled a little and we continued on. After moments of silence, I knew I had to be the one to break the silence. I knew I was the one that was going to try and make this as normal as possible.

So I became Alice. Minus the spunky, carefree attitude. I initiated the conversation. I asked all the questions and eventually, she started asking them back. How was Phil? How was school? How were things at the house? How many boys were there at school? Questions about sports, about Phil's career, about my life, about my college path. Eventually, it was as if everything was normal.

We finished eating, paid the bill and said our goodbyes. Every one said their final apologies and then we left.

But what lie ahead was what scared me most. I hadn't been back to the house since this traumatic event. I hadn't even thought about going back, actually. It wasn't until we were about a mile away that I realized we weren't heading to a hotel, the Cullens', a _shack_ for all I cared. My breath caught in my throat and I glanced at my mom. She smiled a little.

"It's where the healing's going to start, Bells. We have a lot of things to take care of. Too many things," she said, softly. I swallowed and gave a small nod. I knew that. I knew there were things to do after a death. Getting all the affairs in order. The funeral, the burial ground, the people, the places, the feelings. I took in then let out a very deep breath as she turned onto our street. The next minute, she was pulling into the driveway.

And then my phone rang. I'm surprised the little battery had lasted this long. It had been beeping in my ear last night. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, my fingers shaking, and looked at the name.

_Jacob._

The name might have said "Your lord and savior" for what his name meant to me.

"Jacob! God, I'm so glad you called right now," I said, feeling my voice break. I cleared it a little to make it stronger for the next time I had to talk.

"Bells? What's wrong?" Jacob asked, sounding extremely protective. What I wouldn't give to get a giant bear hug from him right now...

"Wrong? Oh, nothing. My mom and I just got back to the house," I said, my voice getting more quiet as I neared the end of my sentence. I lifted my eyes to look at the house, seeming to tower over me. It was almost frightening. I could feel my mom looking at me, giving me the time I needed. The _friend_ I needed.

"Oh..." Jacob said, his voice just as soft as mine. I closed my eyes a little and let out a breath, looking at my mother, pleading with her. She smiled, graciously, and gave a little nod. I felt a million times better.

"Jake? Can you come over? My mom would love to meet you and I can make us dinner later," I said, trying to bribe him. Would he see through me? Would he see that I needed him? Would he understand?

"I'd love to come over, Bella. Give me a half hour, you know my little rabbit," he said, his voice quiet, appreciative. I couldn't have loved him more at that moment.

"Alright," I said, smiling into the phone.

"See you soon," he said. I felt my heart skip a beat, rushing to catch him.

"Jake?" I asked, hoping he hadn't hung up.

"Yeah, Bells?" he asked. Something in his voice sounded hopeful. I couldn't help but let my heart soar.

"Thank you, so much," I said, putting everything I had into that. He didn't know how much this meant to me. If he came over, we could talk. We could distract each other. We could be _normal._

"Don't thank me until I get there, which is getting longer each second you keep me on the phone," he said. I nearly blushed. The way he spoke made me feel as if I were a lover he couldn't wait to see. His voice was husky.

_What am I getting myself into?_ I thought, feebly.

We both hung up the phone and I turned to my mom, leaning over to hug her over the center console.

"Thanks, mom. This will make it that much easier," I said into her hair. I could feel her nodding.

"I know what you mean. It'll be nice to have a distraction, to keep me from thinking of only your dad," she said. After a moment more, we both pulled away, sniffling and blinking back the tears. We stepped out of the car and she locked the doors, glancing around the neighborhood. I rolled my eyes a little. Not like anyone in this little town was going to steal anything. Then again, it was probably habit for her.

I stepped up to the front door and looked for the right key on my key chain I had dug out of my purse.

I shut the door behind us after we entered and dropped my purse and keys on the table in the kitchen. I turned to see Renee looking around the room, probably searching the familiar area for things that had changed.

"I'm just going to run up to my room and plug my phone into the charger," I said, smiling at her. She gave a brief nod, still looking around the house. I decided I'd give her some time to reminisce. I was probably going to do the same thing as I looked around my room.

I plugged my phone into the charger and then stood up straight, stretching my hands over my head and arching my back. I tried to look at everything in the room, appreciating each thing.

"_I hope you like purple," Charlie said, standing in my door way. I had smiled. He was good at being an awkward dad._

"_Purple's good," I said._

I ran my hand over the blankets on my bed, laughing a little. This wouldn't be as hard as I'd thought. I would get through this. I would miss him, he had been taken from me too early, there were still things I needed to say to him... But I could get through this. I was strong. And everything would be ok.

I closed my bedroom door and went across the hall to the bathroom. I straightened myself out, throwing my hair into a pony tail and brushed my teeth correctly. I took another glance around the bathroom, thinking of how much it was probably going to hurt when I had to clear out the bathroom of Charlie's stuff.

I shut the door behind me and took the stairs two at a time. I glanced around and poked my head into the kitchen, then the living room. I smiled as I saw my mom standing in front of a picture near the tv. It had shocked me when I came to live here too, when I had seen it.

"I dunno why he never took it down," I said quietly, walking up behind her to stare at the picture of them at their wedding. They stood just as married couples did, facing each other but angled towards the camera. Charlie's arms were around her waist and poised in the air, joined with hers. It looked as if they had been caught dancing, actually.

Renee's fingers moved out and touched the glass over the picture.

"It never worked out between us, but that didn't mean I didn't love him. I just couldn't stay in this town any more," she said. I gave a little nod, understanding her completely. I probably wouldn't have stayed here after I turned 18 either.

"Oh, Bella... I just wish I could talk to him one more time," she said, turning to face me. The tears were anew in her eyes again. I reached up and touched her cheek and she smiled, embarrassed. "Look at me, acting like the child while you take care of me," she said, sniffing and clearing her voice. I laughed a little.

"I'm going to head to the kitchen and see what I can cook for dinner," I said. She laughed.

"God, I haven't had your cooking in too long," she said. I smiled, thinking of Charlie.

Twenty minutes later, I had our dinner planned out, helped my mom figure out why the tv wouldn't work (it had been switched to the wrong channel), straightened out my room and was waiting patiently in the living room with my mom. It wasn't that it was awkward. It was just... tense.

A knock sounded at the door and I bounded to it, throwing it open. I tossed myself into the arms of my best friend. Yes, I realized very quickly that I had to take an extra little jump to get to his chest. When had this boy grown so much?

All my thoughts were lost as he squeezed me so tight I nearly choked. But I didn't care. He was normal. He was happy. He was a friend. He was mine.

He swung me around and hugged me to him tight. I felt his nose buried deep in my hair and just rested my nose in the crook of his shoulder. This was what I needed.

"Bella... God, I missed you," he said, his voice rough and weak at the same time. I couldn't help a small smile.

"You just saw me yesterday, Jake," I said.

"But it feels like it's been a year," he said, finally lowering me back to my feet. I realized it took me a while to get there. When he released me, he stood to his full height.

What. The. Fuck.

How was he getting taller, gaining more muscles, getting more... God, he was attractive. His shirt was a little tight on him and I smiled.

"How's the growth spurt treating you?" I teased. He took a swat at me and I grabbed his hand, pulling him inside the house.

"Mom, Jake's here," I called into the living room, stopping him in the kitchen. My mom came around the corner, as if she had been waiting for her cue to enter.

"You sure know how to make friends, don't you?" my mom said, a little under her breath, but loud enough for Jake to hear. He grinned and reached his hand forward as she presented him with hers. "I'm Renee. It's nice to meet you, Jake."

"What's that funny smell?" Jake asked after a few moments, lifting his nose to the air. I inhaled deeply, trying to smell anything. It smelled just like my normal old house.

"I don't smell anything," I said. My mom agreed.

"Never mind. I've been hyper sensitive to smells lately," Jake said. I smiled and let it go.

It wasn't long before things were just normal. We sat and talked to my mom. She asked him a bunch of questions about living on the Reservation, he asked a bunch of questions about where she lived, where she travelled and so on. I found myself contentedly listening and commenting where possible.

Dinner came and went, Jake showing my mother his fascinating ability to eat the kitchen. Jake offered to do the dishes and as he turned his back, my mother gave me a thumbs up, a wink and mouthed "niiiice job." I could have smacked her, anxious that Jake would turn around. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

After Jake was done with the dishes, I led him up to my room so we could talk. I opened my door and stepped inside, letting him follow and then shutting the door behind us. Jake paused, glancing around the room before turning to face me and smiling, embarrassed.

"I can still smell that weird smell," he said. I breathed in again, trying to smell anything. Then I smelled me and laughed.

"Well, I haven't had a shower since yesterday," I said. He rolled his eyes, opening his mouth but I interrupted him. "I'd actually really like one. I'll only be ten minutes, if you can stand the wait?" I asked. He scoffed.

"Ten minutes? You're not one of those girls that takes an hour, then?" he asked. It was my turn to scoff. I smiled at him and then grabbed my towel off the back of the chair and a new change of clothes.

"I'll see you in an hour," I joked. I closed the door on his laugh and made my way to the shower.

Jake's POV

That smell... It was driving me crazy. I could smell it when I first got here, it was... strange, to say the least. I tried to ignore it, but it seemed to be everywhere. I watched Bella leave and after a minute or two, the smell faded. I grumbled a little, refusing to believe it had been Bella. Bella always smelled... wonderful. She was my favorite scent.

I walked around her room, busying myself while she showered. The smell had completely gone now and I reveled in the fresh breaths I could take. When I heard the door click across the hallway, I straightened a little and waited for Bella to enter.

She was dressed in a pair of short plaid shorts and a beige spaghetti strap top. My male hormones kicked in and I tried to hide the little breath I took in at the sight of her. She was bunching the towel in her hair, drying it. When she set the towel down on the back of the chair, baring herself completely to me, I suppressed a shudder.

Bella was, by far, perfect. No one could ever compare to her, in my eyes. My mouth might have actually started watering. She smiled as she saw me watching her and a blush creeped into her cheeks. Lovely. Make me want you more, Bella. Sheesh.

She went over to sit on her bed, crossing her legs and leaving plenty of space for another person. For me. I tried not to do a little giddy dance as she looked at me, waiting. I went to sit next to her.

I am such a fucking guy.

I sprawled out on her bed, nearly knocking her off and she laughed, clinging to my arm to stay on. I would never let Bella fall though. There wasn't a chance. I pulled her up and she landed in the crook of my arm, nearly flush against my body. I wrapped my arm fully around her and she rested her head on my shoulder.

I don't know why this felt so... so normal, so perfect, so right. It was just me and Bella, Bella and I, laying in her bed, hanging out... I wanted much more, but I knew to be steady, go slow. She wouldn't be needing a boyfriend any time soon... My thoughts drifted to Charlie.

"How have you been, Bells?" I asked, my voice lowering to a hush. I rested my cheek against her head, closing my eyes to listen to her breathe. She took a moment to answer, confirming that she knew what I was really asking.

"It's hard," she whispered. The sound of her voice nearly sent me over the edge. I buried my nose into her hair, breathing her in. "But I'll get through it. I can't change what happened, so I just have to learn how to deal with it. And so far, I think I'm doing pretty well," she concluded, her voice sounding a little proud. I wanted to congratulate her. I wanted to kiss her. I was so happy that she was finding a way through this. I didn't know how she was so brave.

"You're handling it better than I ever would have imagined," I said into her hair. And then her hand came up to rest on my chest. Even through the fabric of my shirt, her hand made me tingle. I took in a soft breath, hoping she didn't feel my heart beat racing. She was making this more and more difficult.

"Bells, I don't want to push you... You might want to move your hand to make it a little easier on me though," I said, my voice cracking. I cursed myself and cleared it.

_Way to go, Jake. Sound like a friggin girl._

Bella pulled her hand away and sat up. I moved a little to make more room for her to sit and she slid her hand through her hair, looking at me, shyly. I reached my hand out and took hers, placing our hands on the bedspread between us. For some reason, there really was no embarrassment. There wasn't any awkwardness.

There was just me and Bella.

**A/N : Alright, sorry this took so long to get out, guys. Really really busy. But hopefully, after this weekend, I should be able to recover and get back to a normal updating speed.**

**Review, please? I love you!**


	14. Note

Yeah, I'm lame. I'm sorry guys, but fanfiction is going on hold for a while. I'm having issues again, for those of you who followed over here from A New Heart. You guys know about my past issues with my boyfriend. Yeah, same problems.

Think I'd learn, huh?

Anyways, wish me a speedy recovery. For those of you who are worried about private messaging me, thinking it's stalker-ish or whatever, don't worry about it. It's always nice to hear from someone knew. I wish you all the best at finding more stories to read until I can make it back into my ability to write.

Best wishes,

Tracy


	15. Update!

UPDATE

I'm sure you guys think I'm dead. I assure you, I am not! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get along with this. I'm in the process of getting all my notes and files together for all my stories so that I can catch up with them and begin writing again. I want to have a new chapter posted for every story by the end of this month!

So thank you, die hard fans of my writing. I really appreciate your support and I'm sorry this wasn't a chapter, but I thought you all deserved to know I have something in the works! Now you have something to anticipate!

Also, I don't know if my lovely Beta is still interested in beta-ing. Anybody interested, just in case?

Can't wait to hear from you guys! Are you excited? Tell me so I get started even sooner! Haha.


	16. Chapter 12

**Long time, no see?**

**Just want to say a quick thank you to some awesome people : Annie, for the banners, which I will put on asap, and DragonBby, I thank you so much for your reviews. **

**I apologize for not responding to everyone's review, like I usually do. I promise, I will start doing that again, with this chapter!  
**

**Enjoy  
**

Chapter 12 – Normalcy

Bella's POV

I pulled my clunky truck onto the highway, heading towards school. Yes, Charlie had passed away two days ago. Yes, I was still grieving, and my mother was here to spend time with me. But I knew what my classes held for me. I didn't want to fall behind. And it's not like sitting awkwardly with my mom at the house was any more helpful than going to school and handling my work.

Jake had stayed over quite late last night. My mother the night owl had even come upstairs to ask Jacob to head on home so that we could all get some sleep. I had walked him out to the front porch and closed the door so I could talk to him in private. I turned to see him with a bright, yet sad, smile lighting his face.

I was in his arms the next moment and was enduring his famous bear hug before he set me back down on my own two feet. Being intimate this way with Jake... It was nerve wracking, but somehow... It was just right. I had smiled at the thought as I'd looked at him, the moonlight trying to peek through the constant overcast at us.

"I'll see you soon, Bells," he said, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. I found myself leaning back into him.

"Of course. Don't let it be too long. I might not recognize you, at the rate you're growing," I said. He rolled his eyes and finally slid his hands down my arms once before stepping off the porch and walking to the rabbit.

It had been hard to get to sleep last night. When I was at the Cullens, I had talked to Edward until I was exhausted and passed out. But last night, I hadn't been ready for Jake to leave. I wasn't ready to give myself over to the dreams, the nightmares.

I shuddered as I pulled into the school's parking lot and turned my truck into a space. I made it into my first class undetected, thanks to my hoodie drawn down completely over my face. But that's when the apologies began.

All throughout my classes, through the whole day, I was greeted by "sorry for your loss" and "he was a great man" and "that shouldn't have happened." Didn't they realize the best way to recovery was to NOT press the subject ? I sighed, knowing they were all just trying to be helpful. But it was all just making it worse.

When I made it to lunch, I thought about ditching everything and hiding in a bathroom stall. But then, I realized, I would only draw more attention to myself and my cruddy position. So I sucked it up and pushed open the doors to the cafeteria. I skipped past the line and made a bee line for my group's table, running a hand through my hair.

Thankfully, they had all gotten their apologies out and it was nearly like a normal day. If you didn't count the sympathetic glances every few minutes. I rested my head in my hand and tried to regroup myself. I was going to lose it if anyone else came up and brought Charlie to the fore front of my mind again.

"Bella," a small voice sang behind me as a cool hand rested on my shoulder. I turned around, a smile hitched on my face before I got up to hug Alice. She gave me a tight hug and then brought her mouth close to my ear.

"Remember, be strong. We're all here for you," she said, to the point where I could barely hear her. At her words, my body relaxed a little and I remembered Carlisle's pep talk from yesterday. I closed my eyes and let out a breath, thanking Alice inwardly.

When she finally pulled away, she gave my arms a slight squeeze and then nodded to their table.

"You're welcome to join us, if ever you'd like," she said. I glanced at my table and realized Jess and Angela were looking at me with bug eyes. It was silent for a moment before Ang made a pushing movement and mouthed 'go!'

I said goodbye to my table as Alice and Jasper waited for me to grab my bag. Then I turned and headed over to the table with them. Emmett was on his feet, grinning like a giant teddy bear. He kicked a chair out with his toe and then offered it to me as Rose sat with her fingers delicately crossed on the table. Edward still had yet to arrive.

"Bella – ella! Long time, no see!" Emmett greeted with his arms open for a hug. I dropped my bag beside the chair and then leaned into Emmett's embrace. I almost died. His hugs were tighter, more bone breaking than Jake's! I hadn't known that was possible. But by the sheer size of Emmett, I should have guessed.

"Emmett, make sure she can breathe," Alice said in a hushed tone and I laughed as he finally let me go. I arched my back a little and heard it crack before he gave an apologetic smile.

"It's no problem, it's comforting. How was the rest of your guys day yesterday?" I asked, taking my seat, as did everyone else. The conversation carried on that way for about ten minutes before another body dropped into a seat two away from mine. Edward had decided to join us.

"Hey Eddie, what took you so long?" Emmett asked, throwing a spork at him. I hid a laugh quite well. Edward tossed the utensil back at Emmett before shrugging and looking around the table – at everyone but me. Was I all of a sudden invisible again? Was this the game he was playing? I felt a frustration bubble up inside my stomach, causing anxiety and irritation to flood through me.

Luckily, there was only fifteen minutes left of lunch before we all said our goodbyes. Edward said his quite hastily and I did the same, running to catch up to him. I dodged a few more apologies before catching up with him and grabbing his shoulder.

"Edward," I said, and he turned around, taking a small step away from me. I dropped my hand as he stopped.

"What is it?" he asked, glancing around the hallway and muttering something about going to be late to class. I scoffed.

"So this is how it's going to be? When we're alone, everything's great, you open up, but the next day, you shun me? Make up your mind, Edward. I can't do this anymore," I said, taking a step toward him. He didn't move, but his gaze finally met mine. I stared up at him, watching as his eyes seemed to darken a little.

"Bella, this-... I want you to be able to talk to my family, but I'm not _good_ for you... Please, just leave it alone," he said. He turned on his heel and continued his way to class, leaving me standing in the hallway, baffled.

Did he have a problem? Maybe he was bi-polar? I recalled Carlisle's words from the car yesterday. Edward liked me, huh? Well, he really did have a funny way of showing it. And he was totally succeeding in screwing it all up. I let out a small huff before following his path to class.

I sat beside him, turning away from him a little. I took out the folder I needed and then dropped my bag rather loudly to the floor. I didn't know if it affected Edward. I refused to look at him the whole class. When the bell rang, I was the first one out of the door. I heard him call out my name, but I ignored it completely.

By the time I got home, I had thoroughly regretted not turning around to talk to him. What if he'd really had something important to say? I huffed as I parked my truck in front of the house. I had a lot of important things to say to Edward Cullen, too. But it wasn't as if he was going to sit around and let me tell him.

"Hey, honey. How was your day?" Renee asked, surrounded by papers on the table in the kitchen. I dropped my bag by the door and leaned against it, shutting my eyes.

"Too many apologies, too many people, too many problems," I said, smiling at her. She gave me a small smile back. "How was yours?" I asked, shifting away from the door and going to the fridge.

"Just getting everything in order..." she said. I didn't think anything of it until I realized the silence had still dragged on when I turned around with a bag of chips. "Bella, Charlie's funeral is tomorrow... This is such a small town and everything's just happened so fast..." she said. I swallowed and blinked the tears out of my eyes. I swallowed the dissolved chip in my mouth before I gave a small nod.

"Ok," I said. Renee let out a deep breath and sat back.

"Ok," she said back, and then smiled a little.

"I've got a bunch of homework to get done, if I'm going to miss school tomorrow. I'll be back down to cook dinner in an hour," I said, making my way to the stairs.

"Don't worry about dinner tonight, Bella. I'll handle it," she said, smiling at me. I smiled back and then jumped the stairs two at a time. When I was in the confines of my room, I pulled my cell phone out and made my call.

"Bella?" Jake's voice greeted me, not even through the first ring. It was rough, shaken. I laughed at the sound of his voice. God, one word, my name, and I was already feeling better.

"Hey, Jake... Can you come over? I have some homework to do, but if you want to bring yours too-"

"No problem. I'll be there in a half hour," he said, no hesitation. I let out a small breath and shut my eyes.

"That's exactly what I needed to hear..."

Jacob's POV

Last night had been everything I'd hoped it would be. We sat around and talked until what must have been two in the morning. My dad was still up in the living room when I got home. He had given me a knowing smile and I'd returned it.

School couldn't have past any slower today. Quil and I were on our own, as Embry had ditched school again. I had no idea what was going on with him. The kid wouldn't answer my calls, or the door when I went by. He was avoiding us, and I could only wonder why.

After Quil and I split at the stop sign, I took off at a jog to reach my house. I couldn't wait to call Bella. I had thought about her all night, all day. I would always think of her. I sighed as I climbed the two stairs of my porch and then dropped my bag inside the door of my house.

"Ah, Jacob, we were just talking about you," my dad said. I glanced up to realize there was someone else in the house. I gritted my teeth. Sam. "Jacob, it's time you meet Sam in person," Billy said. I could have killed him with a glare. I'd told him several times I hadn't wanted to meet Sam whatsoever. I wanted nothing to do with his cult. Was my dad trying to force me into this now?

"Jacob, I know you really don't want to see me-" Sam started. I shook my head and made a motion with my hand to tell him to stop.

"Don't, alright? Just leave me alone," I said, feeling the anger bubbling in my stomach.

"Jake, I can help you," Sam said, taking a step closer to me. I took one away from him, lowering my gaze to the ground as a new kind of anger swept through me. It was nearly uncontrollable. I felt like my skin was rippling, shifting. Anxiety washed through me, the thought that I couldn't control my anger a problem.

"I don't need your help," I growled out, raising my gaze to Sam's, then to my dad. "I don't need either of you trying to get me into whatever cult you have going-"

"Jacob, watch your mouth," Billy said but I was done. I moved forward, making my way to my room but Sam shot his arm forward and stopped me. I stared straight ahead as he spoke.

"It's unbearable, isn't it? The anger. You can feel it coursing through you, as if it's trying to rip you apart," he said, his voice level, contained. I lost composure for a second, turning my head to look at him. "I can help you, Jacob. I know what you're going through. Just tell me when you're ready." He put his hand down to let me pass and I looked at him once more before the rage continued coursing through me.

I cast one more glance to Sam, then my dad, before I went to my room. I slammed the door and fell onto my bed, feeling the vibrations of anger wrack my body, making me curl in on myself.

Billy's POV

"Billy, I'm sorry. I should have handled that better," Sam said to me. Both of us were still looking at Jacob's room.

"It's not your fault. Apparently my son's forgot his manners," I said, feeling my own anger escalating. Sam came over and rested his hand on my shoulder with a chuckle.

"The works of a young werewolf, Billy..." he said. I looked up to him but then he lowered himself to the couch to talk to me at my level. I sat back a little in my chair.

"He's not ready yet. He's close, but he's not there. He still has an inkling of control left. When he shifts for the first time, we'll be there. Don't worry, he'll come around," Sam said. I gave a nod, looking at my sons door again.

And now, there seemed nothing to do but sit and wait for him to finally grow into his own skin.

"Thanks for coming, Sam. I'll let you know if I need you again," I said. He got to his feet, shook my hand and then left without another word. I sat there for a moment, soaking in everything. Jacob would become a werewolf. He would protect us. He would be the leader of the pack, the alpha. He would take all the pressure from Sam. I could tell it was straining him. I ran a hand along my forehead.

We just had to wait until he was ready.

The phone rang and I looked up, ready to wheel myself to the phone when a flash of teenage boy ran past me.

"Bella?" Jacob asked quickly. I rolled my eyes. The boy was playing with fire and he didn't even know it. That girl was already in deep with the Cullens. He was going to get his heart broken.

"No problem. I'll be there in a half hour," he said, his back turned to me. I huffed and waited for a moment before he hung up the phone. When he made to run off to his room, I stopped him.

"Jacob Black, what happened to you? You don't even ask now?" I asked, rolling after him towards his room. He turned around to face me in his doorway.

"Dad, it's Bella. It's not just Bella, it's Charlie. And after what you just tried to slap me with today, with Sam, I deserve a break from this house," he said.

And he left me there, gaping like a fish. I tried to shout after him, but he was already out the door. I sighed, grumbling to myself.

God damn teenage werewolves.

Edward's POV

I was beyond frustrated with how I'd acted towards Bella today. I could tell she was too. When I called after her after bio had ended, she didn't even indicate she'd heard me.

"Damn it," I'd muttered under my breath, running my hand through my hair. Mike Newton was looking at me and I gave him a frustrated look before he turned and skittered out of class. I grabbed my stuff and took off towards Emmett's next class.

"Em," I called after him, fighting the crowd of students to get to him. He turned around smiling, lifting his hand for a high five.

"Yo, Eddie. What's up?" he asked, lowering his hand when I didn't comply. I ducked into the hallway next to us where the crowd had dissipated a little. I looked him in the eye, knowing what he'd see.

"I need to leave. Will you join me?" I asked, closing my eyes after I'd known they'd grown darker. Were they pitch black yet? Emmett glanced around the hallway and then nodded his agreement. We were very casual as we slipped off campus.

"So what tipped you off this time? Besides the fact you haven't hunted in over a week?" Emmett asked, putting his jeep into motion. I rolled the window down to let the cool air sweep over me, trying to wash away my thoughts. I didn't want to talk. Usually Emmett was good about keeping out of my business.

We drove for about an hour before he pulled off the road and we ditched the jeep. We slipped into the forest and started hunting.

"Seriously, Ed, what are you doing?" Emmett asked, coming up beside me and walking casually. I sighed and gave up my position of crouching and waiting to catch something, straightening up beside him.

"I don't know what to do about Bella. It's like... It's like we're bound to cross paths for the rest of our lives, but I don't WANT that for her," I said, shoving my hands in my pockets. Emmett was glancing around the trees.

"Man, I honestly don't know why you haven't just given in yet. Alice has seen it. She's going to be one of us, you and her are gonna get it on, and everyone's going to end up happy," he said. I scoffed and then stopped. He stopped and turned to look at me.

"Tell me you'd have done it to Rose," I said. His gaze immediately darkened and flittered away. He moved to keep walking.

"That's a completely different situation. Rose is a completely different person," he said. I lifted a tree branch so I could walk under it and shook my head.

"We don't know Bella at all. What if she doesn't want this? What if she doesn't agree with what we are? Or rather, I know she won't, so how am I supposed to force her into this life style, just because Alice has seen it?" I asked in a hushed voice. I could feel the animals around us. I was searching for one with a big enough pulse to sustain my hunger.

"Look, you can stand around all day, guessing at what Bella would want," Emmett said, scaling a tree and jumping from one to the next above me. "Or, you could let things play out, be a friend to her, and see where that gets you. I'm not saying get a hotel room and bang the chick," he said. I cringed. Sometimes Emmett could be very crude. "I'm just saying, let fate take it's course. You can't fight with your existence, your love life and your hunger. It's going to end up burying you in a very deep grave."

I sighed and leaned against a tree. Emmett stayed still above me. So I was back to a decision again. I thought I'd already made up my mind? I thought I was going to keep as far away from Bella as was possible? I held my breath, listening for the sounds of the forest.

Alice had done this. Alice had made me doubt myself. Alice was screwing up everything. _Who knows if I even would have liked Bella at all if Alice hadn't have told me about her..._ I thought.

A branch cracked in the distance and I finally gave up my logical surroundings and let my hunger take over.

**A/N: Boo!**

**I'm back, and I was so happy to post this chapter. Just to let you all know, the sequel to A New Heart is the next thing I'm working on. I hope to put it up today, so keep an eye out for it! It will be called 'Twilight Woods' and I can't wait to share it with you. Do an 'author alert' and it will tell you when I post it!  
**


	17. Chapter 13

**Thank you guys for all your reviews. The mean a lot and inspire me. **

**Chapter 13 – The Funeral**

Bella's POV

Jake had stayed over until late that morning again. My mom had to kick him out. She was really nice about it, though. She seemed to like Jacob. Everyone liked Jacob. My dad had always mentioned Jacob with the highest respect. I smiled at the thought of my dad now. It was a teary smile, but a smile none the less.

Jacob had been... off, last night. He had seemed jittery when he first got here. When I asked him about it, he said he was just burning off an energy drink. I laughed at the thought. The last thing Jacob needed to get his energy up was a drink.

We had spent most of the day holed up in my room, doing homework and complaining about it. I'm sure it took us a lot longer to finish it because we were together. And because every half hour, Jacob would take a "let's tackle Bella" break.

I smiled as I finished blow drying my hair. I felt at home when Jacob was around. He was my best friend, he meant the world to me right now.

I took a half hour to get ready. I straightened my hair, applied a nice amount of make up to my face. I even put a dress on. It was a black knee length dress that flared out at the skirt. The top was modest enough, a spaghetti strap that showed a little more of my chest than I was used to, but it would have to do. I had a shawl somewhere, if it really got that bad.

The sound of the doorbell vibrated through the house and I left my room to go down the stairs. My mom was opening the door as I got to the landing.

"Excuse me, is there a Mrs. Dwyer here?" a man in a suit asked. I tilted my head a little. I hadn't ever thought of Phil's last name as my mom's. I guess she was just always mom, or Renee. I cringed a little.

"Yes, that's me," she said, opening the door a little wider. He gave a small, nervous smile.

"I have some things I need to look over with you, if you have the time," he said. Renee gave a nod and he stepped inside. She closed the door behind him and then turned to lead him to the kitchen. She stopped beside me and smiled, patting my shoulder.

"Go finish getting ready, I'm sure this won't take long," she said. I glanced at the man again but when Renee didn't move, I turned and trudged up the stairs. I walked as slowly as I could, hoping to listen in on their conversation. With no luck.

I closed my door behind me and leaned against it before realizing I definitely wasn't going to hear anything now. I walked over to my mirror and assessed my appearance.

I looked a lot older. I had opted for pulling my completely straight hair into a bun at the back of my head and attacking it with bobby pins. My eyes were framed in black eye liner, mascara and a smokey layer of eye shadow. I didn't bother with blush, because I did enough of that without the help of beauty products. I realized the only pair of shoes I had out were my tennis shoes and boots, so it took about ten minutes of digging through my packed boxes to find my small, inch high black heels. I slipped them onto my feet and then looked around for my phone, hoping I hadn't lost it. I hadn't gotten a call from Jake yet.

It was silly, probably, but he had promised to call me before they left for the funeral. I was relying on that call. I knew it would make me stop shaking, I would become stronger, once I heard his voice. I found my phone buried under the covers in my bed and flipped it open to see I'd missed a call. I cursed myself and dialed the voicemail.

"Hey, Bella, it's Jake. I promised I'd call, but I knew you'd probably be busy getting ready. You girls and your silly idea of beautiful," he said. I smiled at the tone of his voice and lowered myself to the bed. "We're getting ready to head out in about ten minutes. I'll see you when we get there," he said. There was a short pause in which I heard him inhale a small breath. "Stay strong, beautiful. We'll get through this."

My eyes watered a little as I saved the message and then checked when he had called. 1:08. I glanced at the time on my phone and saw it was already 1:30. I flipped the phone shut and stored it in my purse, which I attached to my shoulder. Another glance at my appearance and a quick touch up under my eyes and I was walking down the stairs to find my mom.

"Bella, you're ready?" she asked, greeting me at the bottom of the stairs. I gave a nod and she went to open the door, showing the man in the suit out of the house. He turned on the steps and reached to shake her hand.

"Thank you for your time," he said.

"No, thank you," she said. He gave me a small smile and then went to his shiny black car.

"Who was that?" I asked, watching my mom grab her jacket off the coat rack. She was gorgeous. She wore a form fitting black dress that went down just past her knees. The top of it swooped down in a gentle U shape that flattered her shoulders.

"Just more paper work to fill out," she said with a half smile. We made our way to the car and then we were on our way.

As I exited the car, I looked up to realize it was another dismal, rainy, cloud stricken day. I tugged my shawl tight around me as we walked towards the church that was the only area in Forks a funeral really could be held. I shuddered as my mom knocked on the door. A man opened the door and asked for our names. After scanning down the list, he nodded and let us in.

The temperature difference between inside and out was at least 20 degrees. I shrugged out of my shawl, feeling quite comfortable after only a minute. The man who greeted us at the door presented himself as Tim. He was part of security. He gave a quick over view of what would be happening in less than an hour and then went to answer another knock at the door.

I looked around the church, admiring the high ceiling, the rows in the center room and the windows. I'd never really been in a church before. The bible and religion weren't for people like Renee and Charlie.

"We're basically family!" someone cried outside the door, grabbing my attention. I saw Tim dealing with a rather flustered looking Jake at the door.

"I'm sorry, son, right now we're just taking in immediate family for the viewing. You can wait another fifteen minutes," Tim said. I swallowed as I walked over, not knowing if I could stand fifteen minutes in here without Jake.

"It's ok, he's with me," I said, walking up behind Tim. He turned and his back straightened a little. Apparently he was supposed to be more accommodating for the immediate family of the deceased.

"But, Miss Swan, this is supposed to be your chance to say your goodbyes-" he began and I tried to give him the sweetest smile I could.

"How am I supposed to get through this without my best friend to keep me from falling apart?" I asked quietly, making sure there was a hint of tears in my voice. Obviously, I wouldn't usually overreact like this. I wouldn't use my pain to get something I wanted. But this was Jake we were talking about.

"Right... Sure, I'm sorry," he said, turning to open the door wider so Jake could wheel Billy in. "Come on in," he said. I smiled sweetly at him and then helped Jacob lift Billy's chair a little to get it in the small side door. As Tim went back to guarding the closed door, we walked to a place out of his hearing. Jake wheeled Billy close to me.

"Jeeze, is that what you did to me when I told you about the cold ones down at the beach?" he asked. I tried to hide a small laugh as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, shaking his head. "God, I must have looked pathetic."

Jake stopped wheeling Billy and we came around from behind him so we could see him properly. He reached his hand out and I put mine in his as he smiled up at me, tears in his eyes.

"Thank you for coming, both of you," I said, feeling the tears already well in my eyes. Billy patted my hand.

"I wouldn't miss my best friend's farewell, Bella," he said. I gave a wary nod and then Billy placed his hands on the wheels of his chair. "Let me just go say hi to your mother. I wonder what she'll think when she sees me," Billy pondered. I smiled as I watched him go. I tried to keep my gaze off Jacob, but there really was nowhere else I was supposed to be looking.

I raised my gaze to his and he gave me a small smile before offering his arms open for a hug. I leaned into him and rested my head at the crook of his neck and shoulder. His arms surrounded me and so did his extra heat.

"You look amazing, Bells," he whispered in my ear and I gave a half sob, pulling closer to him. His arms tightened around me and we stayed like that for what felt like hours. I was so comfortable in Jacob's arms, it felt so right. I told myself it was because he was my best friend.

When we finally pulled away, he left a kiss on my forehead.

"Do you want to go say goodbye to your dad, before everyone else gets here?" he asked, making me look him in the eye. I gave a short nod after a moment and he led me off to where my mom and Billy had disappeared a few moments before.

I saw the casket inside the small room and took in a quick, deep breath. After a second of standing in the same spot, I turned to go back out, feeling the tears start to build again. Jacob grabbed my arm and pulled me close, encasing me in a hug again.

"I've got you, Bells... Be strong, you can do this... This is going to be one of the last times you get to see him, the last words you get to speak to him... Make them worth it," he soothed in my ear. My sobs started to subside as he stroked my back and did his best to calm me. I could hear a sob escape my mom's mouth and it broke my heart even more. I didn't know if I could do this...

"Bella," I heard my mom say, another sob clouding her voice. I lifted my head to see her arm out stretched towards me. I glanced up at Jacob and one look gave me all I needed.

_Take me wherever you need to go,_ he seemed to say. I gave a short nod and then linked my hand in his, entangling our fingers. And then I did the bravest thing I think I'd ever done in my life.

I walked over to the place Charlie lay in his casket. His hands were crossed over his stomach and his hair was neatly combed. Instead of a suit, like most people would wear, I got to see my dad in the same thing I saw him in daily. His chief of police uniform. Though now he was stripped of his belt, his badge and his gun, he still looked the same. His eyes were closed, he was so peaceful. It was as if he was sleeping.

A sob sounded far off. It took me a moment to realize it was me.

"Oh, God," I whispered, caving against my mother. Her arms wrapped around me and I wrapped one back around her. The other stayed linked to Jake. He was holding me to this earth. He was what I was revolving around right now.

There was nothing more life shattering, more awakening than seeing your father in a casket. The tears came and they didn't stop. This time, I didn't try to fight them. I'd been fighting them for so long, I'd been strong for so long, I couldn't contain it any more. Confronted with Charlie, right before my eyes, I couldn't help but weep.

I watched as Renee pulled away and reached out a hand, straightening out a wrinkle in his shirt. A new push of anxiety ran through me and this time I turned into Jacob. His arms enveloped me and it wasn't for a few minutes that I realized the reason he was shaking around me. He was crying too.

It must have been hours that we waited there. Surely everyone else in town just wasn't going to come, and this ceremony had already progressed and we were all still here crying. But when I finally lifted my eyes from Jake's very wet shirt, I saw it was only two o'clock. A shudder pressed down my back and I turned my eyes back to Jake.

He reached up and wiped several trails of tears from my cheek. His touch was more gentle than any he'd ever used with me. I leaned into his hand, shutting my eyes and I felt his lips on my forehead.

"Let's go, you can clean up in the bathroom," he said, softly. He led me out of the room and straight to the bathroom. I whispered a polite thank you before disappearing inside the small room.

I went straight to the mirror and leaned against the sink, letting the reality of the day set in with me. I think I was in a dream. This couldn't be real. Charlie had never died, I had never stayed with the Cullens, Edward and I had never talked. I was not here, Jake wasn't here, no one was here.

It only dissolved me into tears all over again when I realized this was real. That this really was the last time I'd see my dad and I had to make the best of it. I finally raised my eyes to look at myself in the mirror and let out a deep sigh. I reached for some paper towels and tried to clean up my appearance. I put five minutes into it before I threw the paper away and huffed. I was grieving. I was _supposed_ to look like this. If someone didn't like it, they could talk to Tim.

I straightened out my dress and tucked a strand of hair back into my bun before preparing myself to go back out the door.

"Hey, gorgeous," Jake said, his arm already extended to take me under it. I gave him a small smile and slipped into the space that was made for me. "Are you ok?" he asked, in a hushed tone.

"Yeah, I'll be ok. Did anyone else show up yet?" I asked, glancing around the small church. Jake nodded.

"Newton and his family. A few other kids from your school. Not many people yet. But our lovely Tim just opened the doors about five minutes ago, so no one's late," he explained. I led Jake over to an area quite far away from where my dad was at the moment. I didn't think I'd be able to keep from crying every time I saw him.

The next hour went by quickly. Too quickly. I had greeted people, accepted everyone's apologies, invited them to the same horrific scene I had endured just before them. My mom joined us for a moment but when she saw I had it in control here, she disappeared again.

"My dear Bella," I heard behind me, while I was facing Jake, talking about a family that had just gone on their way to see my father. I turned around and encountered Carlisle, a small smile gracing my face. I couldn't help myself. I walked over to him and leaned into his inviting arms. "It's good to see you again," he said, his cool hands running along my shoulders. I let myself stay there for another moment, soaking up his courage before pulling away.

"Thank you for coming, Carlisle. It means a lot to me that you could make it," I said.

"It's hardly a problem. Let me know if you need anything, Bella. I'm here for you," he said, patting my hand. And then he was gone, replaced by another Cullen. A Cullen who's short, fairy like hair clouded my vision as she threw her arms around me.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so, so sorry for your loss... I wish there was something I could do, I'm so sorry," she said. I could hear that her voice was dry, as if she'd been sobbing endlessly. I closed my eyes, fighting my own tears.

"It's ok, Alice. We're getting through this... You do so much for me, just by being here," I said, very quietly. After a moment, we pulled away from each other and glanced behind her.

"I should let you greet the rest. But I promise, we'll talk soon," she said. I gave a short nod and then she followed Carlisle. Jasper stepped forward, glancing after Alice. I smiled a little, knowing he felt a little awkward. Then his eyes fell on mine and my heart nearly broke. I swear he saw into my soul, that he knew exactly how I was feeling and feeling the same way. I raised my hand to hide a small sob as I tore my gaze away from his.

"Shh, shh... It's ok..." he said. And then I felt the most astonishing thing ever. Something I somehow never thought would happen. Jasper's arms were around me. The second he was around me, I felt all my emotions calm. It was like I had just encountered a twister and now I was in the eye of the storm. Everything seemed to slow, to calm, to make sense. I let out a deep breath as Jasper patted my back and then finally let go. The feeling of peace stayed with me though. I was grateful for it. Never before had I wished so much that I could stop crying.

Jasper smiled a little and rested a hand on my shoulder before nodding once and then going to find Alice. He didn't even need to say anything else. He'd given me the best gift I could have asked for.

And then I was being swooped up and spun around. I threw my arms around Emmett's humongous form and smiled. This is what I needed. I needed normalcy. I needed to know that even though I was falling apart, everyone else was going to keep the same. I would fall back into place eventually.

"I'm sorry, Bella. You know we all wish there was something more we could do," Emmett said, finally lowering me to my feet. I heard a small growl behind me and turned to see Jake, his arms crossed over his chest. I laughed a little and rolled my eyes. We'd talk later.

"Thanks, Em. It means a lot to me that you guys could make it," I said. He nodded and then hit my chin lightly with his knuckle.

"Keep your head high, kid," he said. I nodded as he walked off and was replaced by Rosalie. At first, I felt awkward. She stood before me, dressed in what was probably casual for Rosalie. She looked spectacular, her hair was pulled into a side pony tail, low on her shoulder. It was all curled into one big, long curl and I couldn't get over her. She was the most gorgeous person alive. Especially when she smiled, shyly.

"Bella... I-... I don't have much to say," she said, leaning closer to me. She took in a deep breath and then raised her gentle, honeycomb eyes to mine. "You're very brave, going through all this... I don't know what I'd do without Carlisle," she whispered. Her voice broke on his name and she covered her mouth to hide a sob. And I couldn't help myself any more. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around the most gorgeous creature that walked the planet.

And she returned my hug.

As she pulled away, she touched my cheek, and then she was gone with the rest of her family. And I turned my eyes to the last female of the Cullens.

"Esme," I said softly. She already had her arms wrapped around me and was stroking my hair. For some reason, the tears were staying at bay and I was so thankful. I felt like I could take on the world.

"Dear Bella, if there's anything you need, you need only ask. I'd give you the world, my child," she said, kissing my cheek. I smiled weakly as she pulled away and smoothed a strand of my hair back.

"Thank you, Esme," I said. She gave a parting nod and then left me to the last of the Cullens. For some reason, I hadn't expected him to be here. Even as the trail of Cullens had come by and greeted me, I hadn't actually expected him to be standing there, right before me.

Well, this was awkward.

"Bella," he said, quietly. He gave a small bow before me and I laughed a little at how formal he was. I opened my arms a little, hoping he wouldn't deny me. I didn't know if I could take that right now. This was not a time for hatred, or for revenge. This was a time for comfort, and the rest of his family had done a great job.

He moved forward and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and, just for a moment, let myself imagine what it would be like to feel this all the time. His cool embrace was calming in the crowded church with the thermostat on high. I rested my head on his shoulder for a brief second before pulling away. His arms didn't seem to want to release me right away, but as he realized I was pulling away, he relaxed his grip.

His hands slid to mine and wrapped around them, pulling them up to his mouth. He placed a gentle kiss on my knuckled before lowering them.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I know you've heard that too much today, that especially from me, you should hate to hear it... But I am so sorry for this, for everything," he said. And I finally felt my heart become whole again. Everyone in the town had come to say goodbye to Charlie. My best friend was here, my mom, the whole Cullen family, and Edward had apologized. Even if he went straight back to his old ways tomorrow, I would always have this.

Jake stepped up beside me and rested a hand on my shoulder. I glanced to see him nodding towards my mom. She was standing in the corner, on the phone. I tried to listen but she was too far away. What bothered me most was that she looked distressed. I let out a small breath and looked up to Edward, who was also watching my mom.

"Thank you, for coming. For everything," I said. He trained his gaze back to me and nodded a little, kissing my hand once again before heading off to join the rest of his family. At the same time, my mom closed her phone and disappeared into the bathroom.

"I wonder what that was about," Jake said, quietly. I would have responded, but there were already more people at the door.

I was ready to take them on with a warm heart.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed!**


	18. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – The Funeral, pt 2

Edward's POV

I shoved thoughts of ripping the little boy from La Push from my mind as I searched for Carlisle. The kid didn't know what he was messing with. The way he came up behind Bella, acting as if he was her protector, as if he were her boyfriend. I gritted my teeth in frustration, trying to put the boy far from my mind.

"Carlisle," I said, finding him right outside the room Charlie was being seen in. I cringed a little, knowing I couldn't go see him. If I saw him, I'd join in on Bella's pain, which Jasper has so graciously agreed to calm. Carlisle turned to face me, Esme at his side.

"What is it," he said, stepping close to me. I glanced around and then lowered my voice to a frequency human's couldn't hear, also speaking quite quickly.

"It's Renee. An attorney came to see her this morning, told her everything Charlie had he left to her and Bella. But Bella isn't of age, so until then, Renee gets it all. She wants to sell the house, Carlisle. She wants to take Bella and leave this place. She wants to leave all her problems behind and drag Bella with her," I explained.

Carlisle took in a deep breath, also glancing around now. Fast decisions needed to be made. If the woman had too much time to think about it, she could never be persuaded.

"Are you prepared for the consequences?" Carlisle asked, finally looking straight into my eyes. The consequences... I didn't know how he was going to make it so Bella would stay here in Forks, but I desperately needed her here. I couldn't let her leave. Especially when I knew for a fact she wasn't like Renee. She wouldn't run from her problems. I swallowed and gave a quick nod.

"Whatever you have to do," I said. He gave a brisk nod, leaned over to kiss Esme and then patted my shoulder.

"Let's just hope the rest of the family agrees with you," he said.

Bella's POV

By the time I found my mother to ask her what had bothered her so much, the priest was already calling for our attention. He informed us that they would now be moving the Chief of Police, Charlie Swan, to the front of the room, so if we could all clear a path.

I stepped up to my mom and pulled her close.

"What happened earlier? On the phone. Is Phil ok?" I asked. She smiled lightly and waved her hand.

"It was nothing, sweetheart. Just more paperwork to settle," she said, but her eyes betrayed her. Something was going on that wasn't sitting right with her. I tried to shrug it off. She would tell me in time. People started filing into the seats and I looked around.

My eyes glazed over Angela, Newton, Eric. Tyler, Jessica, Jacob's friend Quil, and some others from the tribe. Alice. I smiled as I saw all the Cullens filing in and Edward caught my eye. He gave me a small smile and I looked through the crowd for another half second before strong arms came up behind me. I took in a deep breath and smiled, brightly. I turned to see Jacob resting his chin on my shoulder. I rested my hands on his, wrapped around my stomach.

"You know, I don't think that Cullen boy likes me," he said. As he spoke, I lifted my head but Edward had already turned away. I turned back to smile at Jake.

"Maybe if you didn't act like we were dating all the time and kept your hands to yourself," I said, playfully shoving at his hands. They didn't budge.

"Like you want me to keep my hands to myself," he whispered in my ear. I shivered and leaned back into his chest a little. It was almost easy to forget where we were. How did he have this effect on me?

But reality came and hit me in the stomach. They were wheeling the casket, closed, down the side isle and I swallowed. I could feel Jake growing somber behind me and I linked hands with his and pulled him along to follow me to the front seats. He took a seat right beside me, both of us between my mom and Billy. I tried to look every where else but up front. I could hear the creak of the casket as it was opened.

Jacob took my hand in his and intertwined our fingers, pulling my hand into his lap. I gave him a grateful smile and then he nodded towards the front of the room. I turned my head straight to pay attention and saw the tip of my dad's hands, the tip of his nose, poking out from above the casket's edges. It brought new tears to my eyes all over again. But as soon as they came, I took a shuddering breath and they somehow stayed at bay.

And the service began. I listened to the sniffles throughout the crowd, the most pronounced were my mother's. I appreciated every word the priest said. Something about death only being the beginning, that heaven would open their doors wide for someone as great as Charlie.

After a while, he asked if anyone had anything to say. Plenty of people had plenty to say. First, a man who worked with my dad spoke. Next, old Harry Clearwater. My mom. A kid my dad had apparently saved, when he had lost himself in the woods several years back. All of them, each other them, cried while they were standing up there, talking to us, talking to Charlie, saying their last goodbyes.

Jake helped wheel Billy up to the front and I didn't care what force held my emotions together, I cried non stop through his goodbye. Jacob kept his arm wrapped tight around me until the moment he was done and had to go bring his dad back. Billy was too taken over by sobs to continue or bring himself back to his spot.

Finally, as the priest looked around for anyone else, I swallowed and got to my feet.

"Bells," Jake whispered beside me, offering me his hand. I glanced around and touched his hand before making my way up to the front. I was without support. I was being watched, every move I made. By hundreds of eyes, I was being scrutinized. As I got close enough to see my dad, I closed my eyes, trying my best to keep it together. I took in a deep breath and rested my hands on his casket. I opened my eyes to look down at him and couldn't help a very weak smile. Wherever he was, because I had to believe there was someplace after this, wherever he was, I knew he'd be happy.

I finally turned to the crowd and cleared my throat, hoping it would come out. I hadn't practiced a speech. Actually, this part of a funeral had absolutely flew my mind. But I was his daughter. I was Charlie Swan's daughter, and I would not see him away and not talk about what a wonderful man he had been.

"I know I haven't been back here long... I know I don't know my father as well as I should have," I began, glancing around the room. I didn't know where to look. There were too many familiar people, too many faces. I felt like they were judging me. I swallowed and firmed my body, standing up to them. "But that just makes the time that I did have with him that much more special. It just makes me miss him that much more."

I smiled a little and glanced at my dad again, imagined him staring down at me from a cloud high above.

"I loved this man. He was my father. We always got along. He was always there for me, whether I took his hand or not. Now that he's gone-" my voice broke and I cleared it a little, trying to get past the new rush of tears.

"Now that he's gone, I can think of so many things I want to tell him. So dad, if you're listening..." I took in a deep breath and shut my eyes, trying to make this a conversation between my dad and I. Father and daughter.

"I never told you enough that I loved you. I never spent enough time with you. I wish I'd gone fishing with you since I moved back here. I wish I'd told you that you were the best thing that happened to this town. But I'm telling you now. I'm telling you now that no one who knew you would ever forget you. I'm here to tell you that for as long as I live," I smiled a little as my eyes landed on Jake. I focused on him. His warm smile, the tear trickling down the side of his cheek, it all made me that much stronger.

"For as long as I live, I'll never forget you. You were the best father I could ask for. I only wish I'd had more time, that you could see this all now. That you could know how much we all cared about our Chief of Police," I ended up whispering. I glanced around once more at the room before stepping down next to my dad. I kissed my fingertips and then touched his hand, shutting my eyes as the tears took over.

"I love you, dad. I'll make sure I tell you all the time now," I said. I turned. I said my goodbye. My last farewell, the last time I would see my father, other than pictures of him. I let out a deep, earth shattering breath as I made my way back to my seat. Jake held his hand out for me, still sitting and I took it, lowering myself next to him. My mom patted my knee. Billy had been nodding in approval. These were the only views that matter. Theirs and my dad's.

I let out the rest of my breath as the priest finished his words. Jacob released my hand and lifted his to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"You're so incredible," he whispered, sending chills down my spine. I shut my eyes and leaned my head towards his, feeling my heart ache. He leaned his back against me and that's how the ceremony was ended.

"Now, if you'll all stay seated, we'll have you come out by row," the priest said as four men moved forward. One closed the casket and then they rolled it gently towards the door that led to the cemetary out back. Since we were in the first row, we stood up. I watched as a man brought a large table forward and several people brought out flowers of different kinds. My mom grabbed my hand and I followed her up to grab a flower and then out the door, behind Charlie. I could hear Jake bringing Billy up behind us.

After fifteen minutes of situating around the grave while the men attached the casket to the pully that would lower Charlie into the ground, the crowd had grown quiet again. Finally, my tears had abandoned me. The only thing I could feel now was happiness that my dad was somewhere better and probably watching down on us with the first tears in his eyes, ever. I glanced up at the cloudy sky and pulled my shawl tighter around me. Jake noticed and casually slid his arm around my shoulders. I was grateful.

There were last words said, last sobs, last cries. And then we all stepped forward, one at a time, and placed our flowers ontop of his casket. My heart fluttered as I stepped forward and placed mine down, then touched the casket lovingly.

"Goodbye, daddy," I whispered. Jake came up beside me and placed his and Billy's flower. I looked up and smiled at him as he touched the casket too.

"See you around, Charlie," he said, softly.

We both walked back to our spot together.

Two Hours Later

After Charlie had been lowered into the ground, we all went back inside the church. Some left ten minutes after, some a half hour. Some stayed for more than an hour, with all the food around the sides of the church. My mom had gone all out, not sparing any expenses. I wonder how she'd arranged it all, but I decided that was just a gift my mom had.

There were only a handful of people left and it seemed as if we were all saying our goodbyes so we could head home. It had been a long day.

"Hey, Bells," Jake said, making me turn to see him. I gave him a bright smile. I was feeling much better now. The greatest grieving period was over. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he hugged me. "We've got to get going. Will you call me? Let me know you get home alright?" he asked. I laughed.

"Just can't live without me that long, can you?" I asked as we pulled away. He tucked the same stray hand as before behind my ear and shook his head.

"No, it appears not," he said. I bit my lip, feeling the seriousness of the situation starting to consume me. Maybe I'd let Jake step over a few too many boundaries today. Or maybe I'd just let down a few of my walls. He flashed a bright smile and then tapped my nose.

"Stop getting so serious, Bells. I'll see you later," he said. I smiled and waved to Billy as they both headed out the door. I sighed and rubbed at my face for a moment before reaching back and pulling my hairpins, ties and nuissances out of my hair. I shoved them in my purse and fluffed my hair a little, trying to get my feeling of being uptight out of my system.

"Bella, hello," Carlisle said, walking up to me. I smiled at him and reached forward for one more hug.

"Heading home?" I asked, pulling away to glance at his family. He smiled and nodded.

"Yes, it's about time we all get back to our things. Homework, work, hobbies," he said. I laughed a little and glanced around, seeing my mom walking up to us. I stepped over to let her greet Carlisle.

"Dr. Cullen, thank you again, for everything," Renee said, reaching forward to shake his hand. He did the same.

"It was no problem, I assure you," he said. There was a short pause. I could tell he was looking for something. My curiosity was peaking.

"If you don't mind my asking, what's your next step? Are you guys staying in town?" Carlisle asked. I blinked. That was a very serious question. My heart gave a loud thump in my chest. I had never even entertained the idea of moving from Forks. This was my home. This was where my dad was. I looked to my mom. Her smile had faltered a little.

"We should be heading back to Florida. I'll be getting the flight arranged in the next few days," she said. I could tell she was nervous. She was fidgeting with her hair. My jaw was most likely on the floor. How could she make this decision? Without even asking me! I was so baffled, I hadn't even spoken a word by the time Carlisle beat me to it.

"Oh? What about Charlie's estate?" he asked, his eyebrows creasing a little. I wanted to kiss him. At least someone was making sense. Seeing as I couldn't seem to get the damn words out of my mouth.

"Well..." my mom started. I could see the wheels in her brain ticking. Was she seriously trying to lie? My emotions were all over the place. I was angry, furious, but I was sad, too. I felt betrayed, cold. But most of all, I was shocked. "Charlie left the house to Bella. But seeing as she's not old enough, it's in my hands. I'll pobably end up putting it up for sale," she said.

"Mom!" I cried, my voice finally breaking through. She turned to look at me, her half ass 'what's wrong, sweety?' look on her face. I sputtered.

"Bella, I won't move back here," she said, in a hushed tone. My heart pounded fast in my chest. I felt like I was dying.

"Mom, I won't leave! I can't leave! Please, you have to understand!" I pleaded, pulling my shawl tighter around me. I felt so cold, so lost. How could she even suggest such a thing?...

"Bella, we'll talk about this later-"

"Mom, I want that house!" I cried, not caring that my voice was raising. No one else was here anyways, unless you counted Tim and the Cullens.

"You're not old enough!" my mom said, obviously more worried about the pitch of her voice than I was. My eyes widened. I was seventeen! Several more months and I'd damn well be old enough!

"It's paid off, isn't it?" I asked, trying to use logic to my best ability. Bella + free house + enough money for utilities = a very happy person who lives and stays in Forks.

"Yes, but Bella-"

"No 'but Bella's! Mom, just keep the house, I'll stay there!" I pleaded, stepping closer to her, resting my hand on hers. She was having none of it, she pulled her hand away, standing to a fuller height.

"Bella, you're only seventeen! You can't stay there alone!" Renee said. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. Well, now wasn't _she_ the logical one...

"I won't leave..." I whispered, finally. My mother gave me a little glare. I was really pissed off. _What, mom? Am I embarrassing you?_ I thought quietly.

"If I may interject..." Carlisle's voice suddenly cleared the tense air. Shit. I'd almost forgotten about him. I blinked as he stepped towards my mother. Was he seriously going to lean on her side? My gaze shot to the Cullen family. My gaze fell on Edward, immediately. Of course he would side with my mother... It was safer for me if I didn't know him, remember?

I sighed in defeat.

"All of my children are adopted. I would have absolutely no issues with taking Bella into our home until she comes of age," Carlisle said. I must have fainted... I must have fainted and I must be dreaming... I looked up to my mom and thought she might be living a nightmare.

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that-" she started, but he smiled and she stopped speaking. Yeah, Carlisle apparently had that effect.

"You wouldn't be asking, we'd be offering. Just, keep the thought in mind? We'd all hate to see Bella leave. Especially if she wanted to stay," he said, finally turning his gaze to me. I wanted to jump and shout and scream hallelujah. I wanted to throw myself on the family.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle... Let me talk this over with my daughter when we get home. We've had a long day, I need some time to reboot," Renee said. I took in a deep breath. At least she wasn't outright saying no. That meant I had a chance...

"Of course, I understand. Please, take my card," Carlisle said, digging into his jacket pocket. He handed my mother a card and pointed to a number. "That's my cell number, so whenever you decide, just let me know," he said. Renee looked up and smiled at him.

"Thank you, again," she said, offering her hand. He shook it and then smiled at me.

"Bella, I trust you to take care of yourself. You're welcome by at any time," he said, nodding. I nodded back and then he turned to his family.

They all bustled out the door, leaving my mother and I in a hot, bitter silence.

**A/N : I apologize for any mistakes! Feel free to let me know where they are and I'll try and fix them. I'm sorry if the story doesn't flow for you guys, I write for my entertainment and relaxation, and I love it. **


	19. Recently

Hello again everyone! Long time, no chat.

I've recently got a little swarm of you guys asking if I would be updating any time soon. As much as I would like to, I am now three months pregnant. As much as I can't wait for our little joy to be brought into this world, he/she has been keeping me bunkered down to the toilet and the bed, sleeping. I don't see myself updating any time soon, though I would like that to change. If I start feeling better, I could possibly have a lot more time to put effort into the chapters you guys deserve to read and update all of my stories. At this moment though, I cannot say that I will be posting any time soon. I do miss all of your reviews and short hellos, sadly. I hope you guys won't abandon me or these stories, as I do plan on finishing them, just not at present.

I miss you all! I hope to hear from some of you after you've read this, please accept my sincerest apologies.

Mwah


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